Emma N - Creating Space for Postpartum Wellness

In this episode of Quiet Connection, I'm connecting with Emma Nagy, founder of My Lighter Way, for a heartfelt conversation about maternal mental health, healing after pregnancy loss, and the power of preventative care. Emma opens up about her own motherhood journey, from navigating pregnancy after loss to overcoming breastfeeding challenges and learning to trust her intuition. Together, we explore the critical role of community support, self-connection, and personal growth in the postpartum experience. Whether you're preparing for motherhood, in the thick of it, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a gentle reminder that you’re not alone.

To learn more about Emma, visit her Instagram or check out her Masterclass resources!

Takeaways

• Emma emphasizes the importance of preventative mental health care during pregnancy and postpartum.
• She shares her personal experiences with pregnancy after loss and the challenges that come with it.
• Emma highlights the significance of having a strong support system during motherhood.
• She discusses the impact of breastfeeding challenges on mental health and the need for support.
• Emma advocates for self-connection and intuition as essential tools for mothers.
• She reflects on her personal growth journey and how it shaped her approach to motherhood.
• Emma's business, My Lighter Way, focuses on helping mothers prepare for postpartum with a preventative lens.
• She encourages mothers to follow their joy and prioritize their mental health.
• Emma believes in the power of intention to feel as good as possible during motherhood.
• She stresses that every mother's journey is unique and that it's okay to seek help. 

Sound Bites

"I wanted to feel good the whole time."
"I love being a mom so much."
"You are not doing anything wrong."

Transcript

Chelsea (00:01)
Welcome to Quiet Connection, a podcast dedicated to ending the stigma around postpartum mental health. I'm Chelsea. This week, I'm connecting with Emma, who shares her background in mental health and how it shaped her approach to motherhood, emphasizing the need for preventative measures in postpartum care. She discusses the challenges of pregnancy after loss, the importance of self-connection, and how she started her business my lighter way.

which supports mothers in their pregnancy and postpartum journeys. Let's hear from Emma.

Chelsea (00:36)
Hello! Today I'm here with Emma. Emma, how are you?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (00:40)
I am so good. I'm so excited to talk to you. How are you doing?

Chelsea (00:45)
I'm doing pretty good. I'm excited to talk to you too. This is another, this is another threads connection, which I love. Threads has been like crazy in terms of meeting other moms.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (00:57)
Yeah, it's so true. It has a different vibe to it. It just feels very easy and quick to connect with people versus other apps feels like you build your relationships over longer periods of time.

Chelsea (01:10)
Yeah, yeah, I just, I've said it with a couple of my guests now, but threads just feels like this like warm community of people who just kind of care about each other. And I've found so many people to connect with. So here's another one. I'm, I'm excited to be able to connect with you today. I would love it if you could introduce yourself and tell my listeners who you were before you were a mom.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (01:25)
Hello.

that. So my name is Emma. I am the founder of My Lighter Way which I did not have before I was a mum. So I'm a mum of two little boys. So they are currently three and five, as we're recording this. And so I have two postpartum experiences under my belt. And before I became a mum,

Chelsea (01:49)
You

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (02:05)
I'd always wanted to become a mom, so I knew it was kind of like in my path, but I was really focused on my career and, you know, my relationship with my husband and my friendships and traveling and all that. And those are still very important pillars of my life. But yeah, my time was just more spent on those things.

In my 20s, I really dove into the world of mental health. And I did my undergrad in psychology, and then I did my master's, and then my PhD in mental health promotion from Queens University. And so I really was just immersed in the mental health world, but not from a treatment side, from more of a prevention side. So my research career for almost the last 15 years,

Chelsea (02:51)
Mmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (02:56)
I've been focusing on the things that can be protective against our mental health, the different pathways, and then also the things that can protect it. And so as I was becoming a mum myself, just, I'm such a researcher in work and outside of work. So I just researched all things motherhood. I happened to be working on a team in my community at the time that was focused on reproductive and child health. So I was immersed in that kind of world in my work as well.

and then that just like nerdiness and love for learning just carried all the way through and through like this beautiful little path that

I'm sure we'll get into, led me into my business and why I do the work that I do now, which is to help moms prepare for postpartum with a preventative lens and protect their mental health through it and keep those parts of their lives. Like I have, you know, really tried to do like my friendships, my relationships, traveling, like integrate all of that into motherhood.

Chelsea (04:00)
I love that. I say that all the time if you listen to the podcast.

Well, one of my catchphrases is, love that, but I do, I truly do. love, I'm also a lover of learning and like constantly just building on the knowledge that we already have. it's an interesting perspective to come into the mental health field from a preventative lens rather than sort of like a reactive lens. And you had mentioned when you were preparing for Mother,

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (04:28)
Yeah.

Chelsea (04:31)
hood, you were really digging into what that would look like and what that would entail. So were you pretty well versed in PMADS and all of that before having your kiddos?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (04:44)
Yeah, I knew first time I would say, you know, I knew from a mental health perspective what symptoms to look out for, you know, what the threshold was, which ones would be alarming, where I'd need to seek help if I got worse, you know, and I was...

more focused on what to expect that way. I knew the stats related to postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety. I knew it was about one in five. knew, you know, most of us experienced the baby blue. So I like knew that stuff. What I found was missing kind of looking back, which I didn't realize at the time was.

We teach moms to know what to look out for and know when to intervene. Hopefully, not all moms even get this. You know, if it dips, but we're not taught, okay, if almost all of us can experience all these emotions postpartum, how do you actually move through those? Rather than, like you said before, we tend to take a reactive approach and just intervene if something goes wrong, but.

Chelsea (05:38)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (05:45)
Especially with postpartum mental health because it's a time where our hormones are all over the place. We're not sleeping It's really easy to miss things or to kind of brush things off or just not recognize it within ourselves

just something I didn't realize until, you know, hindsight and something clicked for me. I'm like, wait, I'm like, why have we not been taking a preventative approach to this? And so the second time I kind of went deeper than just knowledge, you know, like learning what to expect for me, learning what to expect for baby, what baby items do I need? And I just really focused on my own mental health and like my own self connection and even, you know, increasing my intuition. Like I did.

all

these things differently, my second postpartum that really helped me in a different way. I just went in feeling more confident and like knew how to go through those feelings. Whereas the first time I just remember like being a few days in postpartum and I remember one of my close friends messaging me and she'd already had two kids at that point. She was like, how are you feeling? Like for me, these were the most vulnerable days, you know? And I knew from...

you your milk normally comes in and you know, your hormones dip at that specific time after birth. Like I knew that stuff, but I didn't know how to move through it. And I just remember feeling kind of like this like loneliness and like, don't know, just like, gosh, is this, is this what it's going to be like kind of thing? Like it was just this.

Chelsea (06:57)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (07:14)
Feeling that I couldn't logic myself out of like, you know, you need to expect that this day It's just like this feeling whereas I feel like the second time when those emotions hit I just had more tools to be able to help myself through them and just kind of didn't fear them that time and so I'm just like I Just think I'm just so passionate about

preparing ourselves as moms, you know? Beyond just like having freezer meals or like making popsicles and putting them in the freezer and like getting people to deliver food. Like all of that stuff is actually very helpful and can help your mental health, but I just think there are some like deeper rooted skills that we can learn and embody to help ourselves through it.

Chelsea (07:38)
Yeah.

Yes.

of just like you said, especially if you've never experienced any sort of mental health disorder before, you can do all the research that you want about what to look out for. But when you don't have the tools and the coping skills, it doesn't really add up to a whole heck of a lot when you're in the trenches of it.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (08:18)
That's so true. And I just also feel like postpartum is this very specific time because like I'm someone who I had the knowledge related to mental health. But personally, you know, I've had high functional anxiety on and off for like as long as I can remember. And I've had, you know, little episodes of depression in the past that really stick out in my mind that, you know, I really up supports around me and went to therapy and and all of that stuff. So I had

These, I knew that I was probably more vulnerable to poor mental health in the newborn stage because of my past risk factors. knew that, you know, therapy like really is something, for example, that really helps me in just having support around me. But

That was just something that I found like wasn't enough postpartum for me because, you know, like I don't have my therapist on like speed dial. It's not always that easy to have an appointment, you know? And so I just kind of...

Chelsea (09:10)
Yeah!

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (09:14)
approached it in a different way the next time because I was like I have all this knowledge and prevention I know that we as a society don't usually take a preventative approach But I think that's happening more and more. I think a lot of us are taking ownership over our health like physical and mental you know spiritual So I do see it changing, but I was just like There's just something you know that we can do a bit differently

Chelsea (09:43)
Yeah, it's good to hear you say too that you're noticing it changing. Sometimes I feel like my scope is like pretty narrowed because this is what I do. So I do see I see a lot more people advocating for themselves. And my and it's good to hear this that other people are noticing that too, especially people, especially people in the mental health field. In terms of

your journey into motherhood. We've talked a lot about postpartum already, which we'll definitely get into. But what was that journey like for you? Is motherhood something that you always envisioned for yourself?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (10:20)
Yeah, I feel like I've always been this like little maternal person. even, I just, you know, I was just like the child that, just like loved baby dolls. I loved my little brother, my little brothers and one of them is five years younger than me. And I just feel like sometimes I was like a little mum to him, like whether that's good or bad, but I just.

Chelsea (10:25)
Hahaha

Mm-hmm.

was gonna ask,

are you an oldest child?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (10:46)
I'm the oldest child and I have two little brothers and they, know, like if they would like squabble, was the one that was like sat in the middle of them and like, you know, keeping the peace. But I just like adored just doting on them basically. So I just think I've always been this kind of maternal person and I always wanted to have children. And so for me, it was just a matter of, you know, when, and then I just remember also in the lead up.

Chelsea (10:48)
Yup, yup.

Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (11:13)
which was like, I'd finished, I'd gotten married, finished my PhD. I didn't want to have a baby at the same time, just cause I was also working full time. So it was a lot. My mental health actually wasn't great at that time. I had too many things on my plate. So learned from that for sure. But then, yeah, my husband and I got to this point where like, yeah, okay. We just like both felt really ready. And so,

Yeah, so we started trying and then I got pregnant fairly quickly and then had a miscarriage the first time. So that was really, really rough. And I remember even before, you know, trying to conceive and all that, I just remember hoping, I'm like, I hope that I can get pregnant, you know, because you don't really know until, you know, you start trying and everything. So I was like relieved that I had gotten pregnant, but then...

Chelsea (11:58)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (12:05)
very quickly just, know, I just kind of knew things went right. Like I went for an ultrasound at about eight weeks for the dating ultrasound and found out that I was pregnant with twins, which was like such a shock. And I was so excited, but there was like this like doubt because we couldn't like see the heartbeats.

Chelsea (12:19)
Wow.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (12:31)
So they're

like sometimes with twins, they're like a little bit delayed. So come back in, you know, a couple of weeks. So two to three weeks later, actually, maybe it was, yeah, I think I was like 10 and a half weeks around then when we, when I went in for my next ultrasound and it just, yeah, it, no heartbeats. And so it was just so difficult to go through. that was like the start of everything. So it was really hard.

Chelsea (12:58)
That's a tough

start. Yeah. Did you know anybody at that time that had been through a miscarriage or a pregnancy loss?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (13:00)
It was a really tough stop.

I

did and I'm actually so thankful for my friend who had shared her story with me because I was someone who

It wasn't going to help me to talk about it publicly or like not even publicly talk about it with like most of my friends and family and coworkers like I actually didn't tell many people I was pregnant but my one friend who had had a miscarriage before me she had told me about the news that she was pregnant and the miscarriage within the span of like 30 seconds like she of each other like in the same conversation she hadn't yet told me that she was pregnant and she said that was one of her regrets that she wishes she would have

Chelsea (13:20)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (13:45)
told the people who could support her if she did have a miscarriage instead of keeping everything. So I just always kind of had that in the back of my mind. And so when I was pregnant that first time, I told like just to select few people, cause I'm like also such an introvert. So it's like, I wouldn't want to just, it wouldn't be helpful for me to like announce it publicly. So I just told a few people and then those were the people who supported me through it. And then I just found as time

Chelsea (14:08)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (14:15)
has gone on, now I feel more comfortable talking about it and I'm more of an open book about it just because I think it is helpful to hear that you're not alone even though you also do kind of feel alone in it even if you know it's common it's still like this grief process.

Chelsea (14:27)
Absolutely.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (14:33)
that you have to go through and something that helped me throughout it and looking back, I'm just like so proud of myself and like how I processed and handled it and such like a difficult time because I just

didn't listen to what I thought I should do, you know, which is like, you should really talk about it. Or like, you know, like let's have a call and like, I want to see how you're doing. Like with family members, for example, I was just like, you know, that's actually not going to help me right now. What's going to help me? And this is so random, but what was going to help me was doing a DIY project in my home. I like painted and stained my banister in my house and watched Outlander, like binge watch. And I remember

Chelsea (15:00)
Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha!

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (15:16)
thinking to myself and just having a little convo with myself I was like

Am I doing this to hide away and to numb what's happening? Or am I doing it from a more empowered place of this is what I need to heal? And I thought about what was gonna be helpful for me now, but also in the future, what does future me wish I did? How do I wish I handled it? And I did just feel empowered doing that and getting support in the way that was right for me, not what I thought support should look like. And I think I was able to process it.

and like heal from it in a way that just felt right to me. And then I just waited, you know, I waited till my cycle came back, which shouldn't take too long. then.

I remember like I could have gotten I could have started trying but I was like I just want to wait for a bit because I was like my physically I'm like, you know regulated again, but I was like emotionally I just need a little bit more time and so my husband and I had actually previously booked a trip to Greece and So we I was like, you know what like that vacation just sounds like the perfect

way to start again and not have pressure, you know, like not have that stress. And so I just, was like so cool because I remember one day we were hiking and it was this mountain called Mount Zeus. And I just remember it started raining and it was like these huge raindrops just like falling on us. And I just felt like it was such a good omen and just like, it just felt like this like fresh start. And I just had such a good feeling.

Chelsea (16:26)
Mm-hmm.

you

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (16:52)
I was like everything is gonna be you know good for us and then by the end of that trip I actually was just like I am pretty sure I'm pregnant again and I got pregnant from that trip and that was my first son so yeah yeah

Chelsea (17:07)
amazing.

and it highlights, it highlights a lot that everybody's journey is different and everybody's healing journey is different too. yeah, like and you talk about it when you're ready to talk about it, or you don't talk about it, or you talk about it with the people who matter. And I love too that for you, you gave yourself the time and the space.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (17:18)
totally.

Chelsea (17:33)
to grieve while also honoring like exactly what you said honoring future you what is future me gonna think about what i'm doing right now that's that's such a beautiful way to look at it and also the whole greece experience is magical like what i can't picture a better like outcome you know what i mean like

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (17:51)
Bye.

I know,

I know. was like such like this traumatic experience, but also I just felt like I learned so much about like how to care for myself and just be gentle with myself in a difficult time. And I think that it was just yeah, it was just so magical and like, beautiful and synchronistic for everything to work out the way it did.

Chelsea (18:17)
Yeah. Did your previous experience impact your ability to sort of enjoy the pregnancy?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (18:24)
At first it was always kind of in the back of my mind, you know? Like it was like, and I remember thinking this because I was so excited to be pregnant again and at the same time I just had some anxiety because I was just like, I was like I want to let myself get my hopes up and enjoy it and be excited but I don't want to get my hopes up too much, you know, as like a protective thing.

you know, so I had those kind of conversations with myself of like, you know, what am I leaning more into here? And I did want to let myself be excited and enjoy. It's kind of, it's funny that you said about, that you pulled out again about the future you think, because I think I do use that a lot in my life.

I still use it now, you know, when I'm like thinking of how to deal with my toddlers and my children. Like how does future me want me to react right now?

Chelsea (19:12)
You

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (19:20)
But I also just did want to let myself be excited and not just go through it, letting the anxiety consume me. And so I really advocated for myself in that first trimester because in the hospital where we have our ultrasounds in the city that I live in, they had recently had such big capacity issues with the ultrasound clinic that they had cut that.

dating, 7 to 8 week dating ultrasound appointment time so that people didn't get, and they still don't get ultrasounds usually, until the end of their first trimester. And yeah, and for me, I was just like, my anxiety, was like, I knew my anxiety would get worse if I had to wait till the end of my first trimester. And they do make some exceptions for, you know, if you really don't know your dates or if you're a high risk pregnancy or if you've had a miscarriage in the past, like my kind of situation, they make exceptions.

Chelsea (19:56)
wow.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (20:14)
for that so I just remember advocating for that and my healthcare team were amazing. They were like, yep, we're absolutely pushing that for you. So I was able to find out between seven and eight weeks and go for that ultrasound and it honestly was just such a blessing to see that heartbeat. It just gave me so much hope and then my science nerdy side, I don't remember the stat anymore but at the time I knew the stat that if there was a heartbeat, I knew that your risk of miscarriage went way, way, way down compared to if you

Chelsea (20:43)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (20:44)
So it just gave me so much hope and peace of mind. And then actually I was talking to that same friend who'd had the miscarriage before me and she was like something to look out for because she'd gone on to then have...

a couple of children and not have a miscarriage again. And she was just like, something to look out for is as your first trimester symptoms start to wane, sometimes your anxiety can increase because you think that something is wrong. So I just remember her telling me that and I was just like, okay, so when I was getting to the stage where I was like less tired and that was really my biggest first trimester symptom, I was very lucky I didn't feel sick. But I just remember having that peace of mind and being like, okay. And then just the further and further things gone, my anxiety started to decrease.

Chelsea (21:22)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (21:29)
and I actually like loved pregnancy. Like I loved it. Both of my pregnancies, I just overall really love being pregnant and I just feel, I don't know, like more confident, like so happy with like where I am. I think that's one of the biggest things my pregnancies taught me, especially like post-term, first trimester when I didn't feel anxious anymore, was to really savor in.

Chelsea (21:33)
good.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (21:56)
save it into where I am now because of course I was like so excited to have my babies but there was something like very magical about the process of like waiting for them to be here and like growing them and like having that different unique connection with them so that's just a lesson that I've like always taken with me.

Chelsea (22:14)
that's beautiful. your experience is, again, I'm highlighting, you're not only honoring future you, but you're making sure that you're staying in the present as well, which these are all, mean, you have a PhD, you know this way more than I do. But in going through the journey and meeting all of these people, like these are

Coping skills. These are coping skills that you were enacting, like thinking about and honoring you in the future while also savoring the present. And that's not easy. It's not easy to do. So it's kind of a superpower. It is.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (22:53)
Aww, thank

you. It's taken, it's taken like conscious effort to get there and to just be clear on my values and what matters to me and like being present is a huge, huge value of mine and...

Like the things that, you know, I teach to my clients through my business, presence is like a big and mindfulness and being aware of our thoughts and like reframing and rewiring. If things aren't necessarily serving us, you know, like sometimes we just have like these thought patterns that are automatic, but they're not conscious that are anxious, you know, or that tell us, you know, that they're not in our best interest. And so those are all things I teach my clients, but it's really important for

Chelsea (23:29)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (23:37)
me to embody that and live that way myself because then I feel like I'm approaching things from an authentic place and it's not to say I've you everyone's journey is unique too so like what I do is not necessarily gonna work for other people but I don't know I just think

as far as I go anyway, these are practices that have really, really helped me. like presence is my favorite because that's where the most delightful moments happen day to day and it's just a key, key value of mine that I've...

really tapped into every day since before becoming a mom, know, and just really trying to enjoy and make the most of where I am now. And even if it's hard, like how can I make it even better for myself? Because I value that too.

Chelsea (24:26)
Yeah, it's a beautiful way to look at it. just the reason I want to highlight it is because those are both so for listeners who are in the trenches right now, like those are both really amazing tools to keep in your back pocket. And it's just as simple.

as taking that moment and being like, okay, all right, right now I'm safe. Right now I'm good. My kids are safe. I am safe. Okay. Or if it's a different situation, it's just taking a moment and saying, okay, how's future me gonna feel about this? We do that as simply in our house as like, am I gonna do the laundry now or am I gonna put it off? Well, how's future me gonna feel about that?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (25:09)
Yeah,

and sometimes future you feels fantastic about putting the laundry off. You know, sometimes it's like, you know what, I'm gonna like sit down and do a puzzle with my kids instead. And future me is so happy that I did that. And other times it's like, no future me wants me to like value that too. Yeah. I love that example that you gave because it's so true. It's like that.

Chelsea (25:15)
Yup!

Yes, absolutely.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (25:34)
It's moment to moment and it's like those little tiny decisions that we make for ourselves about where we put our behavior, like what we decide to do or what we decide to think in that moment. And like you said, just taking a moment, that is so powerful and just incorporating that as a...

part of your life because it also, say if you're having a chaotic moment or like things are chaotic around you, taking that moment kind of separates yourself from it for a second and gives you the chance to bring your power back over that chaotic situation and just the more you do it and the more you like reframe or the more you choose like...

in alignment with like what is gonna be best for you, the more automatic it gets. And then, so I bet like for you, you do this too, like it doesn't take long and it's just this automatic thing where you're like, am I gonna do this now or am I gonna not?

Chelsea (26:32)
I mean, it's definitely not always easy. takes me like, I audibly have to take a breath and be like, okay, and we can, this is a whole other rabbit hole in a whole other podcast, but like, in terms of coping skills, like I use like dead end thoughts. I'm like, nope, that's a dead end thought, I think like things like that, but they're all...

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (26:39)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Chelsea (26:56)
it's all at the root of it is pausing and taking a moment and reframing. So yeah, I wanted to highlight that because it's like, okay, put that in your back pocket and save that for next time. when we were sort of chatting before recording,

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (27:07)
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

Chelsea (27:16)
You had mentioned some of the challenges you faced as a new mom. You'd gone through some breastfeeding challenges, you struggled with some anxiety and panic. Can you talk about that a little bit? maybe did it surprise you coming from how well you thought you prepared yourself?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (27:34)
Yeah, yes and yes. So with my first postpartum experience, like I said, I was like so excited going in. I had a really great pregnancy. I like, my gosh, this would also be a whole other podcast episode. I like mindset, prepped myself for birth and had like the most powerful like experience of my entire life. And so I like went into postpartum, just like feeling amazing basically.

But you know, like I said, like the few days in, those emotions hit and I just like felt kind of like a bit shaky and I was just like, like, and then.

They kind of passed, however, and again, I had done, my gosh, in my pregnancy, I had done for my work an entire literature review around the common challenges of breastfeeding that most people don't know about and the impacts of that on breastfeeding outcomes. And I really wanted to breastfeed. That was just like something I really wanted to experience, like for the health benefits, the bonding, all of the stuff that the literature shares and just adding the caveat that you can,

that doesn't always mean it's the best decision for every family. But me, I just really wanted that. And so I knew the common challenges. I knew that one of the reasons women stopped breastfeeding was because they experienced challenges and they were surprised by those challenges. So they thought and internally what they were going through is thinking, my gosh, like this is really challenging. It's a sign like.

like it's probably not meant for me. And then instead of like seeking additional support on knowing that it was actually possible for them to continue and or that some of these challenges are things that you can overcome, which most of them are. I just like knew all of that. So.

What surprised me is it didn't surprise me I encountered breastfeeding challenges because I did. My baby lost more weight than the average or than that normal range that the medical professionals are comfortable with. he was like, his latch wasn't good. He was such a sleepy newborn. And I had to try and tickle his feet and do all the things to try and keep him awake, wake him up to feed him. But he was just so sleepy. I just knew, anyway,

to like do something different and so my midwife suggested I supplement with formula for a bit and that whole situation was really hard on my mental health so I knew that breastfeeding challenges are very common

I knew most of them were figureoutable. But I still felt this grief. And I just remember crying and have to just basically come to acceptance with, OK, our journey is, you know, don't know how it's going to look in the future.

I really enlisted a lot of support around me during that time. I was lucky to be in a workplace where I was friends with lactation consultants and they like came to my house and they were just like rock stars and and just having professionals help me and see the path forward in a way that I as a new mum didn't have that insight. They were like so encouraging. They're like, no, these are things that probably, you know, they couldn't tell me 100 % that these are probably things that are going to help you.

Chelsea (30:36)
Mm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (30:56)
but a while, my mental health was something that I was like really on the lookout for and was having conversations with my husband and also my midwives and just sharing how I was feeling and just being like, okay, monitoring my mental health, you know, and like going with...

what I thought was gonna be best. I just remember there being a point in time where was like, I don't know if I'm gonna, you know, get back into breastfeeding exclusively or not. And just kind of going kind of day by day and also weighing that with my mental health in terms of what was best for me as well. And turns out for my journey, I remember at one point I just like hunkered down with my baby for like a couple of days. I was like, no visitors. And just like breastfed as much as he wanted essentially. And then it just like

set us on this trajectory where then he was able to learn because it's a skill that he had to learn, had to learn and was able to like breastfeed and then as that started to work itself out my mental health eased up so I knew my mental health was actually very tied to that situation at the time and again it's something I logically knew ahead of time I knew it could cause stress

Chelsea (32:03)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (32:09)
I also know there are mental health benefits to breastfeeding depending on the situation. So it was something that I just really had to navigate and I enlist a lot of support kind of along the way.

Chelsea (32:12)
Yeah.

a theme throughout what you've been talking about is this support and community that you had. You had a very strong support system, it sounds like. So not only were you coming from this knowledge-based

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (32:34)
totally.

Chelsea (32:39)
mental health background, but you also had a built in community who had experience in the areas that you needed support with, which is amazing. that's kind of our whole thing is this, you're not alone in creating community. Like, you're not supposed to be doing this motherhood thing alone because like you said, you said it felt so lonely even when

when you weren't alone.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (33:07)
yeah, it was the feelings and like the hormones and all that changing. I just like felt like this loneliness. was really, yeah, it was really wild.

Chelsea (33:15)
It is wild and they don't, they don't tell you about that. But, I think that, that it's beautiful that you had the support system that you did and that you advocated for yourself to get the support that you needed.

you had your first, you had the beautiful pregnancy experience. Yes, you encountered challenges in the postpartum period, but you had a great support system to rely on.

Did you face any similar challenges in your second pregnancy and postpartum or I think you had said you felt more proactive the second time?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (33:51)
Yeah, something happened between my first and second children that I feel like shifted my trajectory. So like after those first few weeks and when breastfeeding figured itself out, I like was so happy and like I got a year of maternity leave because I live in Canada and that was an option for me. And I just like.

Loved it. Like I just relished and like being at home with my baby every day and just like seeing every single step of like him changing and I I just loved it and and something in again in hindsight that I didn't realize was I like slowly started to lose parts of myself By being like so obsessed in motherhood. I think sometimes we think you lose yourself as a mom

Chelsea (34:34)
Mm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (34:41)
if you feel like you're sacrificing everything for your child or if like, if you're like a martyr. But I was just like so obsessed with it that I accidentally like lost parts of myself, I think. And it was also the pandemic. And I just remember having a panic attack out of the blue. And I was like, what? Like, where did this come from? that kind of set me on this like whole

Chelsea (34:48)
Mmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (35:05)
like personal growth journey, like a spiritual like awakening kind of. And what it led me to do was just like reconnect with myself again as a mom and like just started more integrate more things in my life that were just for me. And

Chelsea (35:22)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (35:23)
That was huge for me because what that helped me do was rewire my high functioning anxiety to a degree or like know how to do it. If it like gets worse, it led me to get in touch with my intuition. Cause before that, that was like kind of like an eerie, fiery topic that I was like fascinated by, but hadn't really spent much time like doing. And I just remember that felt like such a fun thing to learn about that just like really uplifted me.

I just started to incorporate more mindfulness and I started learning about manifestation. Like all of these things that for me just felt so exciting to learn about. I just kind of kept following that and like learning about that and integrating it myself. And then when I was pregnant with my second, I was like very much like still on this personal growth journey, which I like still am. And

I just see so much value in us having a strong connection with ourselves and our needs and our desires and living our lives in a way that just really does light us up because I've just seen the ripple effect of that on my kids and for my business, know.

the ripple effect that has for moms to go through postpartum with less stress and to feel more joyful and keep their connections with themselves and all of that really important stuff because at the end of the day, I think it's really helpful for our kids to grow up with skills to live a life where they feel healthy, they feel joyful as like their norm. And when times of stress happen, they feel more resilient through it. And they learn that by watching.

So I just think it's so powerful too and I'm so glad and grateful that I was able to learn all that stuff and integrate it for myself when I had a young baby and also then when I was like pregnant with my second because my second pregnancy I really focused on my own joy and my own self-connection and my own intuition and just You know really practicing presence and mindfulness and trying out different strategies to kind of like

Chelsea (37:01)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (37:27)
just like have more joy in my life and for that to just exude into every area of my life. And I really wanted to carry that through in motherhood the second time around. And I think through intention and action, I've like really been able to do that. And then the second postpartum period, like I just like...

Chelsea (37:29)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (37:45)
I just remember the postpartum feelings like hitting again in my living room and instead of feeling like a shaky loneliness, I just felt like I've got this, you know? I almost just remember telling myself like, bring it on. Like I know how to, it didn't have power over me. I had power over my feelings and I just let them through and I wasn't afraid. And I just spent most of my time just like.

Chelsea (37:54)
yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (38:11)
loving where I was and I know a lot of people don't like the newborn stage or don't like postpartum and I can understand and for me I just like what I wanted for myself was to enjoy every stage including postpartum like I never wanted to just wait till my baby was older or sleeping through the night till I felt good I wanted to feel good the whole time so it was kind of like an experiment but it was an amazing one

Chelsea (38:30)
Yeah.

Yeah, I love, I love, I love too how you labeled it as an experiment and that kind of just, seems I, from the...

So for people listening, like obviously this is the first time you and I are chatting. So I really don't know you outside of this, but like this feels very on brand for you. Like this feels very, very like you, you've said from the get go, you are a lover of learning and you, and you always kind of want to dig deeper and explore more. And what I'm hearing you saying is you're you're following your joy.

You're following your joy. Yeah. And it also, it also highlights that every postpartum experience is different from one child to the next, to the next. And even if you do experience some sort of perinatal mental health disorder once, you may not experience it again. Or if you do experience it again, you may feel more prepared the second time. Or like you said, you can face it head on and be like,

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (39:13)
Absolutely. Yeah.

Chelsea (39:41)
Bring it on. You're not, you don't have any power over me. Like that's incredible. how did this translate into my lighter way and what you're doing now?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (39:45)
Yeah. Totally.

So I had no plans of starting my own business or helping mums through pregnancy and postpartum. I could not have planned for this but truly I was like

Chelsea (40:03)
many of us do not have a plan for this.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (40:12)
between my first and second child. Like I said, I was like on this whole like spiritual journey, personal growth journey. And I just started hearing about and learning about different online businesses and.

just the potential impact you can have and the potential to make something that is so curated and like you said, on brand, aligned with you and the impact that you wanna have in the world. And it just kind of unfolded bit by bit. I remember one day in my living room, I was probably doing a higher self journaling something or other, and I just wrote down.

my lighter way and I was just like, and I just had this feeling. I'm like, I think that is the name of, gonna be the name of my business. And I remember like right after that journaling session, it just felt like it just came to me. And I'm just like, and.

Chelsea (41:06)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (41:07)
So I went onto the internet and just googled mylightaway.com and like didn't exist. Went onto Instagram, didn't exist. And I was like, yeah, it doesn't exist. Like it just felt so like what synchronistic and like, whoa. So that day I bought the domain and I was just like, I don't know exactly what this is going to look like yet, but I'm going to trust it. And like you said, follow my joy. And then bit by bit, it just started to get clear. And because I think I love pregnancy so much, I love being a mom so much.

Chelsea (41:20)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (41:38)
and I love like personal growth as well. It just kind of all clicked together that I was meant to create something for mums and then also bring in that knowledge base and the years of experience I have in the mental health field. But from my kind of unique lens where I want there to be more people who study this, the preventative lens and the proactive lens, because I know so many of us are like, I'd rather just stay healthy than...

Chelsea (42:00)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (42:06)
know, hope for the best, see if my mental health dips and then intervene. It's like we take charge oftentimes when it comes to our physical health, for example, like in pregnancy, I know so many people who would do like prenatal classes and...

Chelsea (42:10)
Mm-hmm.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (42:18)
prenatal yoga and all of that stuff. So people are wanting to be proactive. I just don't think we've always known how to do it in terms of our mental health, but I'm like, this is something unique that I can bring and I can offer and I can support moms with. So as I was pregnant with my second baby, I just in my living room started to record videos of like all of the practices that I.

I know from myself and from the evidence is going to be supportive and everything is specific to pregnancy. And so I just, you know, it's cool looking back because the videos I'm like more and more and more pregnant and also more and more and more out of breath when I speak in the videos. And then I thought, you know, I'm like, wow, I've just created a pregnancy course. And then I was postpartum.

And it was like three weeks in and the first time around I had no interest in doing anything outside of, you know, breastfeeding essentially and like figuring that out and like sleeping when I could. This time I honestly had such this sense of like joy and connection with myself. I would, and I was so energized and like passionate about what I was doing with my business that like during the nap time I would sometimes like, sometimes I would nap and sometimes I would film more postpartum content and then it became this like two and

Chelsea (43:17)
You

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (43:39)
pregnancy and postpartum course, which I was like, you know, thank goodness I kept filming and just kind of listened to my intuition in that way because thinking about it, there are so many pregnancy supports and not postpartum supports or they're disconnected. So I was like, this is now this like wraparound support for women. And it's like how to protect your energy when you have a newborn, how to move through those emotions. Like these are the step-by-steps to not feel afraid of them or...

You know, your sleep is gonna change rather than like...

forcing baby to sleep a different way. How can you like be in this stage and like have this mindset where you accept it and like you feel good throughout your days and it doesn't, you know, things don't have to spiral. So that's like really my hope and has been my intention with the program. It's like for moms who are prone to anxiety and also not prone to anxiety, but just like value being healthy, value being self-connected, value keeping their strong relationships. And it's been really cool since then, cause I like went through

Chelsea (44:21)
Yeah.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (44:40)
beta testing process because I'm like, okay, this worked for me. Is it going to work for other people? Right? Like that. Yeah. Right. Like other people are going to get results. So that has been really cool too, to see women with different backgrounds go through the program and like how they apply and like benefit from the content. And it really has kind of been in those like different

Chelsea (44:45)
Right, right.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (44:59)
areas of life where like some women were anxious their whole lives and then since in postpartum they've had like the least amount of anxiety they've had their entire lives and I'm like it's so powerful have this connection with ourselves as moms.

Chelsea (45:14)
What I think interests me so much, and especially in hearing you talk about it, is it's this integration of

two worlds that don't always necessarily coincide. So you have the mental health background and the clinical mental health background and the mental health research background, but then you're also bringing in intuition and tuning into yourself and tuning in and really just listening to

I don't even know a better way to say it, but like just reading the signs, I guess, like in following your joy. Those two areas often don't go hand in hand. Yeah, but they really can benefit each other. And I think at the root of both is just this, goal to better understand yourself and how you relate to the world around you.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (45:54)
It's so true.

Chelsea (46:10)
So that I mean, that's what's so intriguing about what you're doing. And like you said, like you documented your journey, you can go back and look back on this and be like, wow, I, this is where I was at this point in time. And now it's connecting to this person. And now it's connecting to this person. And it's, it's connections. It's all about connections. Yeah. So I think

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (46:32)
I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

Chelsea (46:36)
I mean, obviously that me to the content that you put out and just hearing you talk about it, it feels exciting and it feels like something that we should be looking into much more for pregnancy and postpartum and just in general, in life in general.

So you've been on this you've been on this journey that has not always been easy but you see the beauty in it.

I also, whether this is relevant or not, like when you were talking about how my lighter way came to be, it reminded me of when we were talking about your trip to Greece. Like it was just sort of this moment, like with the rain coming down and you're like, this is just, this is supposed to be, I'm supposed to bring this into existence, which is beautiful.

I really need to get a thesaurus and figure out another word than beautiful because beautiful is all I ever say, but I guess what I would love to know as we sort of bring this full circle and bring it back around is what do you hope that my listeners

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (47:38)
That's a good word.

Chelsea (47:51)
especially the ones who may be very newly postpartum and really struggling, what do you hope they take away from your story?

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (48:00)
I hope in terms of like a lesson or something to remember is even if you're not feeling the best, it's like there is this like glimmer of like light inside of you. There is something even if you're having the worst day or week or month or few months ever and if there's this voice inside of you that's like has the intention of feeling better, like follow and listen to that because even if it feels quiet, it's like

It's the most powerful thing because that like light and that glimmer is going to lead you to like so much more joy. You just have to keep following it like one step at a time. So if you are in the trenches, you are not doing anything wrong. I always say this to moms because I do help them prepare for postpartum. I'm like...

You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't miss a step. Like it's not your fault. Like we are so complex and so many things ultimately impact our mental health. But I just think your intention to feel as good as possible is incredibly powerful. And if you're a postpartum and you're feeling great or pregnant, feeling great, like go with that, like leverage that too.

And then I guess the practice that I would want to leave them off with is the one that you pointed the listeners to before. It's like, what would my future self want for me right now? And to like bring it into the moment, into the present and let yourself do it.

Chelsea (49:15)
Mm-hmm.

I love that you used the term or the word

Glimmer. Glimmer is something that we talk about on Quiet Connection all the time and it's something that I use in social media, but glimmer is a thing, a term, it's the opposite of a trigger. And so we do all have them in us and they do exist around us and they're not always easy to find, but follow the glimmer. Follow the glimmer because...

there is something on the other side. There is something on the other side. Emma, thank you so much for giving me some of your time, for sharing your story with me and my listeners, and just for what you're doing. think it's beautiful and I hope to see more of this kind of thing in the perinatal realm moving forward.

Emma Nagy | My Lighter Way (50:13)
Thank you, Chelsea. I just loved our conversation. I love that you value this stuff as much as I do. So thank you for the work you do.

Chelsea (50:22)
Emma, thank you so much for sharing your story, your insight, and your joy with me and my listeners. I really value how you're combining your expertise in mental health and intuition to support individuals during pregnancy and postpartum. Listeners, check the show notes for more info on Emma, My Lighter Way, and Emma's Master Class Resources to see if they're a good fit for you.

You can keep up with us on Quiet Connection by following us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and threads at Quiet Connection Podcast. You can help our community grow by leaving us a rating and review on Apple podcasts or Spotify, and consider sharing our episodes on social media. To share your personal journey, you can contact us through our website, quietconnectionpodcast.com, or by email at quietconnection.

Join us next time when another story is told and you realize you are not alone. I see you.