Quiet Confessions: Episode 5 - Triggers, Glimmers, and One Big Win

In this solo episode of Quiet Confessions, Chelsea opens up about navigating the landmines of medical trauma, postpartum PTSD, and chronic illness while celebrating a huge personal win: completing a sleep study without a full-blown panic attack. 

They share how triggers, like hospitals, ambulances, and even the act of being sick, continue to impact daily life, and how DBT skills, comfort objects, and inner resilience play a role in managing them. 

This episode isn't just about trauma, it's also about glimmers—those those tiny moments of peace, humor, or joy that help light the way forward. Chelsea reminds us that our reactions are valid, healing isn’t linear, and even the smallest accomplishments are worth celebrating. 

Whether you’re navigating postpartum, medical trauma, or just trying to survive a hard day—you’re not alone. 

🔊 SOUNDBITES 

1. "Triggers are real. But so are glimmers. And both deserve space."
2. "The smallest wins are still huge wins."
3. "I have to remind myself—I’m going to survive this. I’m going to survive these uncomfortable feelings."
4. "DBT isn’t just therapy talk. It’s how I get through the hard stuff."
5. "I did the whole thing—checked in, went through it, and got myself home. Alone. That’s a win."

✅ KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Triggers aren’t always loud or obvious—Chelsea explains how even the sound of an ambulance or the act of needing care can send the nervous system into overdrive when trauma is present.
• DBT tools are central to Chelsea's coping strategy, especially distraction, preparation, and emotional validation.
• Medical trauma isn’t just about what happened—it's also about what was lost, like early motherhood experiences.
• Celebrating small wins matters, especially when you're living with chronic illness or PTSD.
• Glimmers are the intentional moments of calm, joy, and humor that help re-center in the middle of dysregulation.
• Solo victories are still victories. Chelsea emphasizes the power of doing hard things independently and recognizing growth.

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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Transcript

Chelsea Myers (00:01)
Hey, it's Chelsea. Welcome to Quiet Confessions. No fancy setup, just some honest thoughts and a quiet moment with you and me. ⁓ Happy Thursday. I'm really liking being able to put out these mini episodes with just my thoughts and my ramblings. And it seems like you guys are coming along for the ride. So I really appreciate it. Just at the top here, I want to encourage you.

If you feel seen, if you resonate with anything that I talk about, if there's something you want to know more about, please, please, please, you can DM me on any of my social media accounts, Quiet Connection podcast, or leave a rating and review. Honest feedback is always welcome. Or you can shoot me an email at quietconnectionppmh at gmail.com.

But yeah, I want to know what you guys are here for and what's hitting home and what's not and what you want to know more about. Today, I'm going to dive a little bit deeper into how I navigate triggers because they are everywhere for me. that may well be the case for you as well. But so a trigger, if you are unfamiliar, is something that

sort of awakens a trauma response within you. It usually happens when you experience something that is tied to a trauma or just overwhelms your nervous system in some way. So I'll talk to you a little bit about my triggers and I'll talk to you about how I navigate them because ⁓ it's relevant for me. I just experienced something that was, I mean, I experienced things every day, but I

I just went through an experience that was very triggering for me, but I did it and I made it through way better than I anticipated. So I guess, yeah, we'll just dive in. So triggers for me are everywhere because my trauma is tied to birth trauma and medical trauma and ⁓ those first six months of motherhood.

I missed almost all of it, so much of it. so it's also tied to motherhood and grief. and I'm not going to go through and list every single thing that contributed to my trauma, but the major things were, ⁓ my postpartum hemorrhage, which I had at home about five days after I had my daughter in 2022. because I

I was bleeding out and it was a big deal. ⁓ And that triggered my OCD and sent me into a pretty big spiral. So that was kind of the first big alarm bell. And then in terms of motherhood, being so physically and mentally ill those first six, seven, eight, nine months of my daughter's life, I was not.

able to be present for a lot of it and even when I was present I was very sick. I have flashbacks to a lot of the time that I spent in hospitals either for physical medical reasons or psychiatric inpatient ⁓ experiences. I get flashbacks to that a lot. I have a lot of grief surrounding missing

the newborn and infant experience with my youngest daughter. and yeah, there's a lot more we can get into that on its own episode. Um, and then the next biggest trauma was in March of 2024 when I, they discovered I had a pituitary tumor because it ruptured. Um, and I was bleeding into my brain. So that landed me in the ICU and then

I was hospitalized on the neurological floor for the neurosurgery floor for a while and then for months I was babysat while they let the tumor bleed out rather than do surgery. Again, that can be its own topic for its own day, but so those things combined equal and intense, intense.

trauma response from anything medical related. And it can be the smallest thing. Well, what I consider the smallest thing to the biggest thing. So even seeing and hearing ambulances elicits a response in my body. Like my heart rate goes up, my throat, my heart jumps into my throat. ⁓ Especially if I see an ambulance from my town or on my road. Yeah, that can set me off.

Not in terms of a complete meltdown, but it definitely a trauma response any sort of medical appointment And I have a lot of them ever since the tumor rupture my pituitary gland It it it doesn't function and so I have a whole host of teams That work with me Because as a result of

that experience. My body has changed completely. My body chemistry has changed. So I work with endocrinology. work with neurosurgery, neuroophthalmology, cardiology. I'm starting with pulmonology. I'm trying to remember all of them. And I have my primary care physician. And I also work with a psychiatrist ⁓ as well as my psychotherapist. So I have a big team.

And nothing is really sorted out right now. I still am experiencing symptoms. ⁓ Every day I am disabled and chronically ill. I know I sound like a broken record, but that's what my life is right now. I'm learning to accept that that doesn't have to be my life forever potentially. But right now that's where I'm at. So I am sick quite a bit and that in and of itself is triggering.

I literally just got a high heart rate alert on my watch. And I think it's because I'm talking about these things. But yeah, I have to visit the ER pretty regularly. ⁓ I have lots of specialist visits. have lots of just like regular maintenance visits. The ER visits, ED visits. We call it the ED here.

are the hardest and I go into a full panic attack if I even have the slightest idea that I may need to go to the emergency room. It's not, it's very, very difficult and it takes a lot of planning and you can't prepare when you have to go to the emergency room. But this last time that I went,

was one of the best experiences and it's because I literally used every tool in my toolbox. The downside to that was that I delayed going for days, which I shouldn't have done. But in that time, I collected all of my comfort items. I was talking frequently with friends who make me feel safe and that I can trust. And yeah, anyway, so the experience.

that I'm specifically referring to, not that experience. But if you follow along on social media, I recently had to go in for a sleep study. I originally did the sleep study at home, but it was inconclusive, of course. And so I had to go into my local hospital to do the sleep study. And it is incredibly triggering for me to go into any medical

So at least with this, had time to prepare. And I had doctors explaining to me that where I would be wouldn't feel like a hospital room. It would feel like a hotel room. And that was true, except the bed was incredibly uncomfortable. And there were no amenities. I literally checked in. I had to check in through the ED, which was challenging. But I checked in through the ED at 8 p.m. and got shown to my room.

Um, took an hour for them to hook me up to everything. all the electrodes and all that stuff. Luckily, the guy that I was working with was so nice and so funny. And we just laughed about being millennials and flip phones and razors, the phones, and AIM instant messenger. And yeah, so this guy put me completely at ease. I mean, not completely, but as

at ease as I could have been. And I brought with me like my own pillow and I brought my Kindle and I brought a comfort object and I had my eye massager just in case like all of the tools that I know work for me to keep me semi-regulated. And having preparation knowing what I was going into was incredibly helpful.

and taking you guys along with me. I took little video snippets along the way that gave me a job to do, which distract is one of my DBT skills that I use most often. ⁓ DBT, if you follow me on social media, I've referred to it a few times, but DBT really is dialectical behavioral therapy is what really, really works for me.

⁓ they are real skills and tools that you can actively use when you are in distress or feel like you are going to be in distress. And I use them all day, every day. So what got me through the sleep study and being in an environment that would otherwise be very triggering was being prepared ahead of time, bringing things that I knew would cause me to

distract myself, focus on something else, and just knowing all I have to do is sleep and get up and I can go home. I don't have to stay here. And I reminded myself of that over and over and over again. And ultimately I did not sleep very much at all. ⁓ But I guess they got what they needed because they didn't tell me that I had to come back and do it again. I haven't had my results yet, but I was proud of myself when I left because I mean, I did it.

I know this sounds silly if you don't experience trauma responses or if you don't experience like really extreme anxiety or I don't know, maybe if you experience anxiety at all, like the smallest wins are still huge wins. Like they're all huge wins. So just the fact that I went there, I did sleep a little bit and then I left. That is a huge accomplishment.

I spent the rest of that day doing everything and anything that would bring me peace and joy and just listening to my body because I was pretty escalated. But it worked. It worked. I, I, yeah, I don't know. I just took the time to notice and be proud of myself and yeah, it felt good to

Accomplished that on my own. I didn't have anyone with me. No one brought me. No one picked me up I did it all by myself And yeah, it's just a step in the right direction but I want to acknowledge that like Everybody's triggers are gonna be different and my triggers are maybe completely different than your triggers and no Trigger is invalid something that

is difficult right now is that a lot of people will use these terms when really they're just talking about day-to-day anxiety. I've heard people say like, I'm having an anxiety attack. Like I don't think I can make it to all my appointments. And for some people that may be anxiety attack inducing, but for others you're just a little overwhelmed and that's valid too. But it's tricky when you start talking about triggers.

the in the political climate, which I'm not going to get too big into, it is often used to diminish people's experiences. Like, you're so triggered. You're so triggered by everything. ⁓ And I just I want to be clear that like triggers are real things. And the opposite of them is something that I like to talk about a lot and something that I focus a lot of my energy on, which are glimmers. They are the opposite of a trigger. And it is intentionally seeking out things in your life, in your day.

that bring you joy and bring you peace. And again, that is a skill. That is something that I work on. And it is not invalidating the experience of a trauma response or a trigger. It is instead also allowing space for the joy and for the calm and for the peace. ⁓ So I feel like I'm getting really preachy and that's not what I'm trying to do at all.

I'm just trying to tell you that I had a sleep study and I'm really proud of myself that I did it. But yeah, like this is life, man. Like things are going to get you anxious. Things are going to get you dysregulated. Things are going to get you overwhelmed. I have to remind myself every day that that's, that's okay. And that this sounds super simple and silly.

I have to remind myself, I'm going to survive. I'm going to survive this. These super uncomfortable feelings, is shout out to my therapist. These uncomfortable feelings are going to happen and I'm going to survive them. And I, again, I know that sounds a little silly if you don't experience that, but it's the same thing in early motherhood. When you're going through a sleep regression or when you have a very colicky baby, or if you have a baby with medical needs,

This feels really, really hard because it is really, really hard, but you're gonna survive. You're gonna get up and every day is gonna be a little different. And some days are gonna be a little harder than others. Today I'm having a hard day. ⁓ You're not supposed to date your podcast recordings, but today is June 14th and I am attending a protest. Again, I'm not gonna, this isn't about.

Political stances or whatever, but I'm attending a protest and I'm a little nervous and I'm not nervous because I feel like I shouldn't do it I'm just nervous because of the climate But I'm also excited I'm excited to participate this is not my first protest But it's a big one and so I'm recognizing that I have anxiety and I'm feeling these feelings But I'm also looking for the glimmer that I'm doing this with my partner and we're looking at it as kind of like a date day Which is really exciting

And then we have another really exciting meeting afterwards, which hopefully I can tell you about in the next episode. But that is a game-changing meeting for our family. yeah, more on that maybe next week. But I don't know. I feel like I rambled a lot, but that's what these are. It's just my time to chat with you and let you know where I'm at.

Yeah, I wanted to talk about triggers and glimmers and celebrate my win. So that's it for this little confession. Go drink some water, take a nap. I will be doing that later. And know that you're not alone. And I'll see you next week.