Heather K: From Loss to Life

After multiple miscarriages and years of navigating fibroids, irregular cycles, and unanswered questions, fertility coach Heather Kish found the path to motherhood—and to her calling. In this heartfelt conversation, Heather shares her journey through loss, the emotional toll of infertility, and how one chromosomally normal embryo changed everything.

From working in IT security to coaching women on nutrition, hormone health, and reproductive wellness, Heather’s story is a testament to resilience, self-advocacy, and the power of a personalized approach to health. Whether you’re navigating your own fertility challenges or supporting someone who is, this episode offers hope, connection, and practical wisdom.

Key Takeaways:

1. Fertility struggles are unique—and so is the support you need.
    Heather emphasizes that every fertility journey is different and the support system should reflect your needs, whether that’s a small, private circle or a large community.
2. Self-advocacy is essential.
    Trust your medical team, but also know their focus is often on conception—not the underlying issues. Pair conventional medicine with holistic, lifestyle-based approaches for a complete picture.
3. Miscarriage impacts the whole family.
    Partners grieve, too, and open communication can be critical in navigating loss together.
4. Egg quality testing changed the course of Heather’s journey.
    Genetic testing helped identify chromosomal abnormalities as the likely cause of her losses, leading to a successful IVF transfer.
5. Nutrition is foundational.
    Heather’s coaching philosophy is rooted in personalized nutrition, recognizing that every body responds differently to diet, stress, and lifestyle changes.
6. Hope and persistence matter.
    Even after four miscarriages, Heather’s persistence—and the right care plan—led to a healthy pregnancy and the birth of her daughter. 

Sound Bites:

• “Not every fertility journey looks the same—and neither should the support you get.”
  
  
• “You can work with your doctor and still explore other approaches that serve your body best.”
  
  
• “After four miscarriages, I learned that hope and persistence are as important as any treatment.”
  
  
• “Nutrition isn’t one-size-fits-all. Every body needs something different.”

Learn more about Heather by visiting her website or Instagram!

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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Transcript

Chelsea Myers (00:37)
Welcome to Quiet Connection, a podcast dedicated to ending the stigma around postpartum mental health. I'm Chelsea. Today, I'm connecting with Heather, whose personal journey through fertility challenges, loss, and eventually motherhood has shaped her work as a fertility coach. Heather discusses her experiences with miscarriage, the emotional challenges of infertility, and the importance of nutrition and self-advocacy in reproductive health.

Whether you're navigating a similar path or supporting someone who is, this conversation is one of resilience, hope, and strength found in community. Let's dive in.

Chelsea Myers (01:21)
Hello, today I'm here with Heather. Heather, how are you?

Heather Kish (01:25)
I am doing great.

Chelsea Myers (01:27)
I love that. It's Monday morning and Heather's doing great. That's what we all aspire to. Yeah. I don't know what it's like where you're at, but here it is rainy and gross. And so I'm going to take a little bit of that energy that you've got and I'm going to steal a little bit for myself.

Heather Kish (01:29)
You

Definitely.

Well, it's always

like a good day to when St. Patrick's Day, right? You can't help but smile.

Chelsea Myers (01:56)
That's true. I keep forgetting. I keep forgetting that

it's St. Patrick's Day today. We're not we're not like Irish. So I don't know. But we'll have to do something silly today. I'll have to remember for my kids some sort of leprechaun something. But anyway, I like to start all of my episodes with asking my guests to tell us a little bit about yourself because I could list off everything I know. But that would be boring.

Heather Kish (02:11)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (02:25)
So just sort of let us know who you are and who you were before your parenting journey.

Heather Kish (02:32)
Oh wow, yeah, that's a loaded question for sure. But my name is Heather Kish and I am many things, but right now I am a mother of a five-year-old, a 15-year-old, and a 17-year-old, and also a fertility coach. And so many have worn many hats over the years, but have been doing this now for a couple of years. And I finally,

Chelsea Myers (02:36)
You

Heather Kish (03:03)
Finally found my passion. But as you know, it's difficult and challenging in many aspects to run a business with kids and online and just juggle all the ins and outs of motherhood and parenthood and life as we know it.

Chelsea Myers (03:13)
Yes!

Yeah, yep, for sure.

Who was Heather before all of this?

Heather Kish (03:30)
So Heather, before all this, this is like my third, I should say my second time, completely changing careers. Like the trajectory of where I got to this point is really insane. But before I got into coaching, I worked in IT security. Yes, yes. And it's...

Chelsea Myers (03:51)
wow!

Heather Kish (03:56)
Obviously a complete shift. Computers were always an interest to me growing up and so was the law. And so I struggled early on in my college days because I had to work to pay for school and law school just seemed out of reach. So was like, OK, how can I still kind of focus on the law, but also maybe integrate computers? So I got into digital forensics and IT security and did that for 10 years and

Prior to that, that was my first jump. I worked in retail for like 22 years, 22 Christmases I gave up. And yeah, so I've just kind of ping ponged all over the place, but I finally found my true passion and that is with nutrition and health and wellness. And my own personal journey was kind of the catalyst that brought me to this. just kept.

Chelsea Myers (04:34)
Whoa!

Heather Kish (04:54)
speaking to me and speaking to me, you know, months and then subsequently years after I went through it. And I was like, something, something just keeps burning and I need to share this. I need to share my story. I want to help other women so they don't have to go through what I had to go through, you know, and I don't know what that's going to look like. I don't know how I'm to get there, but I'm going to do it. And so

Here I am now two years in and have helped many women and continue to do so and hoping that, you know, sharing my story with you will reach even more people, more women that are on this similar journey.

Chelsea Myers (05:23)
Yeah.

Yeah. And that is a very common theme that I'm getting from a lot of my guests is that obviously we're all here because our parenting journey didn't quite go the way that we anticipated it going. But it brought about this calling in us. And I think I've said this in every episode. I'm not a fan of the term

silver linings, but I do acknowledge that the trials that we have gone through as mothers and as parents have kind of shifted our priorities and shifted what we what we want to do with our lives. So yeah.

Heather Kish (06:07)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And

I think I kind of, well, I don't think, I know I've always been very interested in nutrition and just overall health and wellness. I was a child athlete and always was looking at ways to like level up. And so I had issues with dairy and lactose and allergies.

when I was in my early teens and going into my twenties. And I just felt like we get so much misinformation out there. I hate to use that word because it's so trendy right now, but it is true. Like there's a lot of conflicting and misinformation when it comes to nutrition. And one of the things that I really hone in on in my program is nutrition, because what works for one person isn't

Chelsea Myers (07:03)
I know.

Heather Kish (07:19)
necessarily going to work for another. So, you know, we talk a lot about fertility diet in my space, and that's all in fine. But a fertility diet isn't necessarily going to be right for everybody. There's different nutrients that everybody needs to be feeling their best and for their body to be working optimally. that piece of it was definitely something I wanted to integrate into my

program was just nutrition in general for health and wellness, not just for boosting fertility. So that kind of leveled it up if because I started with my training based in nutrition, and then I focused and honed in even more on hormone health and reproductive issues. And that kind of rounded it out. So but nutrition has always been like my heart, even though I was working in retail and doing completely different

Chelsea Myers (08:12)
You

Heather Kish (08:15)
like the trajectory of my life has been so crazy, but, ⁓ working in retail and then I got in HR management and then, ⁓ I got into IT security, but all that time in the back in my personal life, I went gluten free, stopped eating dairy. was very cognizant of reading labels. And so. I don't know. I just felt like after my journey, I was like, why am I doing something that I like, but not love?

You know, and so that that's also another reason that I was like, I changed careers once I can do it again. Why not? Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (08:43)
Mm-hmm.

Why you can do it as many times as you want to. You can.

it sounds like this is what you're very passionate about. And sort of on that, on that in that vein, like talking about nutrition and talking about how your journey led you here. Like, let's get into that a little bit. Let's get into your personal fertility journey. A question, a question that I like to ask, which seems so simple, but actually,

tells me a lot is were kids always part of your plan? Did you always picture yourself being a mother?

Heather Kish (09:29)
Yeah, and that's a very interesting question. I'm glad you asked it because I really was okay with yes or no because working in retail, I'm sure you've known people and maybe yourself even dabbled in it a little bit. It's very time consuming. Your schedule is never your schedule. I was, I started

Chelsea Myers (09:38)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (09:54)
you know, when I was 15 working in retail and then worked my way up into different levels of management, managing hundreds of people to 30 people to millions of dollars. it just never seemed like a good time. Like we always, even my wedding, my first wedding, we had to plan around as a planning calendar because my husband also worked in retail. So it was like, okay, we can't do it in.

May because that's Mother's Day. Okay, we can't do it in June because that's Father's Day. Okay, we can't do it in July. It's home, you know, whatever. And so it was like never really a good time. And then I think in the back of my head, because you know, hindsight's always 2020. That wasn't the right partner. And then the second person that I was with, he had kids already. So they were like my bonus kids and

We had talked about kids, but we were also both in retail. So it was like, if it happens, great. If it doesn't, great. And then that relationship didn't work out. And so was like, okay, well, maybe I'm just not destined to be a mother. And I'm okay with that. Would I like to have kids? Sure, but it's okay, it's not. And then it wasn't until I met my current husband that things

started to shift, not just from a perspective of that I felt like I might have found the right partner to, you know, co-parent with, but also that

the relationship that he had with his kids was so phenomenal. Like he was just such a great dad. And I didn't have a bad relationship with my dad, but my parents were divorced when I was really young and he wasn't like emotionally available and as present as you know, my husband is with his kids now. And so that kind of got things like brewing in my mind where that shift started.

but I was still okay with just being a bonus mom if it happened. But what really threw it into question was in 2013, I was having really, really bad fibroids to the point that I was vomiting, getting migraines, having to call out sick. And this had been leading up to about five, five or six years before that.

Chelsea Myers (12:18)
Mm.

Heather Kish (12:25)
and I finally had had surgery to get them out. So I saw an endocrinologist and he was like, yeah, you have a five pound fibroid on the outside of your uterus. No wonder you're like a buck 10 and you're carrying around another five pounds on your uterus. We got to get that out. So we did, we had a myomectomy and he found two other ones like golf ball size. And so we removed all of those out and

Chelsea Myers (12:36)
you

Heather Kish (12:55)
He said, you know, if you do decide to have kids, you're probably going to have to have a C-section because of that scar and you know, all that. But rest assured, if you decide you want to do that, you will. And I was 37 at the time. And then because of that, which he did tell me, he was like, your cycles are going to be messed up because your body is going to try to readjust and heal from all of that. And they did. My periods were

so much better. I it wasn't hemorrhaging, basically, and bleeding through pads every 45 minutes. But they were all over the board, like my cycles, which is crazy. So tried IUD, hated that, tried, you know, low dose estrogen, that seemed to be okay, but I didn't want to be on any kind of prescription long term because I know and now I know even more with my training, but all it does is suppress.

⁓ your cycles. So it just, it doesn't really help regulated is the term that a lot of conventional medicine doctors do. Like it, it just kind of kept it going, but I knew that it wasn't for me. And so I did it for like six months and I was like, okay, I'm done. But I did have a caveat. I was like, so if I stop this, like what's the birth control option going to be? Like I was talking about that with the OBGYN. She was like,

Chelsea Myers (13:53)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (14:20)
Well, I think because of your age, you you shouldn't have any issues with getting pregnant. You know, your cycles are still kind of irregular and you're older now. Your AMH levels are low. So I would say, you know, at least a couple of months. Well, of course, that was not the case. And like a month later, I got pregnant. So I stopped in December, got pregnant in January.

But mind you had no idea because my cycles were all over the board and irregular. And so I didn't think anything of it when it didn't come four days or four weeks later. Didn't know I was pregnant until I lost it at eight weeks. So that began my infertility journey was with that first miscarriage. And really upset because I didn't know.

Chelsea Myers (14:55)
Yeah.

Heather Kish (15:12)
And I, you know, I kind of like, you know, thought about it in my mind, but I was like, okay, that's, know, part of the process. I went through the fibroids, went through the myomectomy and it is what it is. So I went about my business for like the next few months. And then six months later, I got pregnant again. And again, lost it at the ninth to 10th week mark.

Chelsea Myers (15:13)
Right.

Heather Kish (15:39)
And so that time was a little bit harder, but I still think I was kind of like accepting of the fact that I was older now. You know, I was going to be 40 and was like, kids are probably not in the cards for me. And I'm still okay with that because I have two beautiful bonus children. about eight months later, I

Chelsea Myers (15:39)
Mm.

Heather Kish (16:05)
got pregnant and again lost it at that mark. And so we were like, do we want to see what's going on here? Do we want to look at this a little bit further? And so we had some dialogue and we were like, should we go back to the endocrinologist and see like, is this a fertility issue or do we even want to explore having kids? So we began that long trek.

of testing. So we started with seeing if I had any fibroids again, which I did not. Seeing if I had any issues with my uterus, I did not. Checking my AMH levels, checking genetic disorders. And this was all over the course of probably four to six months. And checked out my husband and looked at his motility and his genetic predisposition. He was all fine. And so

A lot of times conventional medicine doctors will, they rule out many of the things that I just mentioned and then they don't want to just jump right to IVF or to IUI. They want you to try naturally, number one, because they don't want to you full of drugs. And then number two, it's obviously expensive. So we decided after everything and I, the losses, they were like, okay, well, you're in a different bracket than most of our clients. You can get.

Chelsea Myers (17:13)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (17:31)
pregnant, but you can't stay pregnant. So let's find out why." And they kind of had an idea, but they're like, let's just move to IUI since you had the third miscarriage and we'll go from there. And so we did two months of stimulating drugs and we're checking my follicles and all that good stuff. And I wasn't really well to them.

in the sense that they weren't really stimulating because I'm 40 years old and there's nothing really to stimulate. There's not much left. So I was getting like seven, nine, you know, maybe, and they're like, we need at least five good ones to like even make it worth it. Right. So we finally got to nine, I think on that round and we decided to go ahead and do the IUI And we did and got pregnant right away.

Chelsea Myers (18:07)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (18:28)
I felt like we probably would and we did. And then that was the fourth and final loss right at the 10th week mark. so going back to those like four times, that emotional toll, in that getting up to that time, like I even remember when I got pregnant.

Chelsea Myers (18:35)
Mm.

Heather Kish (18:50)
they kicked me over to the OBGYN because they were like, okay, you got pregnant, you're fine. You know, we did our jobs. So, you know, bye bye. And I had developed such a relationship with them because this was over the course of about a year and a half already. I was like, I really just want you to do an ultrasound in this 10th week so that I just know that everything is okay, you know? And they're like, okay, you know, we'll do it one more time. And so it was okay. And then like that.

Chelsea Myers (19:07)
Yeah.

Heather Kish (19:19)
next, like two days later, I lost it. And so I came back again. And it was just devastating. My husband was like, I just don't think I can, we can do this again. It's so heavy. Like he felt on his heart that it was a boy and he had already like started, you know, preparing mentally and thinking that he was going to have a third child. And it was hard. We had to take a break.

Chelsea Myers (19:23)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (19:46)
just like reevaluate what we wanted to do. And the doctors told us, you know, well, we think we pretty much isolated that your eggs, quality of your eggs are just not there. So we can do IVF, but it's probably gonna take a few cycles and it's not gonna be easy, you know, it's just not.

Chelsea Myers (20:10)
Yeah.

Heather Kish (20:11)
And so we were like, okay, let's evaluate. And so we took like a six month break from the drugs, the stimulating drugs and just from being in the office because as you know, you know, blood tests like every couple of days and follicle counting and ultrasounds and like you feel like a pin cushion because you're literally getting poked and prodded all the time. And meanwhile, I am like petrified of needles and I had to give myself shots and

Chelsea Myers (20:26)
Mm.

Ugh, ⁓ no.

Heather Kish (20:40)
I like had to get through that because I just had to do it. And so you find the emotional like strength to get through stuff like that. But we decided to do it again. And I think one of the biggest reasons we decided was our insurance. Now, this is something that a lot of people struggle with a lot of my clients, like they are forced to not continue because

Chelsea Myers (21:00)
Okay?

Heather Kish (21:07)
their insurance doesn't cover it or they don't even have insurance and it's astronomically expensive. So for whatever reason, we had crazy good insurance and they were going to pay for six cycles of IVF. Six. Yeah. Even the nurse was like, the billing, was like, I don't know what insurance you have, but it's crazy. And I was like,

Chelsea Myers (21:23)
Wow.

Yeah

Heather Kish (21:34)
had to sit down. Like I even told my husband, need to sit down when you read this letter, because they sent us a letter saying, okay, you're approved for six cycles. And yeah, so we started the drugs again. And we also decided they gave us this sheet, where I call it the sheet of cocktails, because that's literally what it looks like. Because you could do, you know, wash the most

the sperm for stronger motility. You could scratch the surface of the egg to make sure that the sperm goes in. You know, it's called icksy. And then there's like the pre-genetic testing for chromosomal abnormalities. And so ultimately we landed on that cocktail choice, but each of those cocktails cost money. So, and then depending on how many eggs you get, that costs money to freeze them.

So yeah, it was very confusing and we were like, okay, just do the pre-genetic testing because ultimately that's what they, all three doctors, they were a group of doctors and they all three decided that the chromosomal abnormalities were most likely what was causing the miscarriages because I'm gonna say this, cause some listeners may not be aware, but in the ninth to 10th week of development,

all of the major organs are happening. And so our bodies have a way when they know that something is not right. That's typically why women pass or miscarry in that time. Most, I mean, miscarriage happens like 30 to 35 % of the time in most pregnancies. And it's usually because of that, there's something not developing quite right.

So that was interesting to learn. the one doctor was like, the odds are stacked against you, but if we can get one that's chromosomally normal, we know you can carry it. We already know you can because you can get pregnant. So we just need to find a good egg. So we went through the one more round of drugs for another month. And it was in October that we

Chelsea Myers (23:30)
Yeah.

Heather Kish (23:57)
did the retrieval. I got five eggs that time and they all fertilized, but only three of them made it to what's called the blastocyst phase, which is five days after fertilization to even be pre-genetically tested for the chromosomal abnormalities. They have to have replicated multiple times over the course of five days.

⁓ so that happened. when they did the testing, only one was Yeah. And so, we were like, okay, do we want to freeze it or do we want to do a fresh transfer? And he said, ⁓ if it were me, I would freeze it and I would take Christmas off. He goes, let's.

Chelsea Myers (24:34)
One...

Mm.

Heather Kish (24:51)
lower your stress, enjoy your holidays, and at the beginning of the year, we'll come back and we'll do the frozen transfer. And I was like, okay, I think that's a good idea. So we let it go. And a lot of my clients have a hard time with that, you know, letting it go, like they can't just go about their business. But I identified many things over the course of that last

Chelsea Myers (25:10)
Yeah.

Heather Kish (25:21)
treatment to get some emotional resiliency. And I just gave it to God and I was like, I'm gonna let it go. And so went back in January, like the second or third week and scheduled our transfer. We did the transfer on February 15 of 2019 and got pregnant and gave birth to our daughter in October.

Chelsea Myers (25:49)
my gosh. Well, you got, but you, so you had a COVID baby too, like you.

Heather Kish (25:50)
Yeah, and

Well,

she yes and no. So she was born in October, but we I put her back in like I stayed home for 16 weeks and then I went back for like six weeks to work and then COVID hit. And so she was she was only in daycare for like six weeks and then I pulled her out. And so it happened when she was like five months old, like almost five months old. So that

Chelsea Myers (26:11)
Yeah, okay, okay.

Heather Kish (26:24)
whole first year we did get to spend with her and our other two. That was crazy times. All of us trying to navigate staying home and being online and yeah, was good. Good times.

Chelsea Myers (26:37)
Yeah, yeah, good times. Yeah.

But like, so there's so much to unpack there. There's so much like, and you touched on some of those things, like, going through this process and, and understanding that like, yeah, okay, I can get pregnant. But like, for some reason, I can't stay pregnant. And it took you

Heather Kish (26:46)
Mmm,

Chelsea Myers (27:02)
it took you until like the genetic testing portion of this whole procedure to understand why that was. When you were going through that, and you said like it took a toll on your mental health, like what kind of things were you thinking? Like how did that play out on how you saw yourself as a person, as a partner, as like how did that affect that?

Heather Kish (27:08)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think what I've learned being in this space now and being a coach and a mentor is that a lot of women feel ashamed that their body can't do what comes so naturally to a lot of other women. And so you blame yourself. You're kind of like

Chelsea Myers (27:43)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (27:54)
what's wrong with me? What did I do? And so you run down the gamut of, know, I did too much partying when I was younger, or maybe they had an abortion. Now it's like, well, now you can't get pregnant because you had an abortion, or you just are too busy and you waited too long. Like that kind of ran through my mind that I was, you know, just too busy working and career goals. And so now I passed my prime.

So you kind of run down all these lists because you want a reason. You want a reason. And when you get that unexplained infertility diagnosis, which is a lazy diagnosis, basically, in my vision, it's not a reason. Like whenever something's wrong in any facet of life, you want...

Chelsea Myers (28:29)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Heather Kish (28:51)
a reason so that you can course correct. And so for a long time, I didn't have a reason and I was really ashamed. it was really difficult because of that shame, I didn't feel like I could talk to anybody about it. A lot of women, and I didn't have this when I was going through my journey, a lot of women want to talk about it.

and they want the emotional support. And I think it's because they want to know if the reason is the same for them. And I didn't even think about that when I was going through mine, that there may be other women that are going exactly through what I'm going through and the reasoning is the same. They're older, they've had a reproductive issue.

Chelsea Myers (29:26)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (29:42)
continue to have multiple miscarriages. But I was so ashamed that I only told five people and those five people were my rock. And that was it. I didn't post about it on social media. I didn't tell my neighbors. I kept it close to the vest. But that was me. That was my choice. I think looking back in hindsight, I would have done better with stronger emotional support. But I still think I would not have.

wanted to be posting about it on social media or joining a group. And so that's why I still offer one-on-one coaching and group coaching because, and that goes along to kind of my pillar of my coaching is that everybody and every body is different. We all need different things to feel safe and secure and to process and

guidance and nutrition and like everything is different and it's based on so many different variables and so I think that was like the biggest thing that I learned about when I was in my journey that I needed to figure out how I was personally going to get through it because I didn't have the support system that I offer now to my clients.

Chelsea Myers (31:05)
Yeah, absolutely. And you said I'm, I'm thankful that you did at least have a core group of people that you felt safe speaking to about it. But that was something that I was going to bring up is that especially in the in the fertility world, I mean, everything associated with bringing a child into the world is very taboo unless you speak about it in in terms of rainbows and sunshine.

Heather Kish (31:31)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (31:34)
⁓ and very often it's not that way at all. ⁓ and I was very appreciative that you mentioned your partner's experience of this whole thing and the grief of, losing what you expected, ⁓ or losing, losing that, that picture of what you thought was going to come. ⁓ because

Heather Kish (31:38)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (32:03)
We do, rightfully so, focus a lot of our energy and attention on mom in these lost situations. And dads and partners are also grieving the loss of their child or the loss of what they thought was going to result from this whole thing. How did you and your partner navigate those moments of grief?

Heather Kish (32:11)
Mm-hmm.

We are very faith-filled and I know that that's not, you know, for everybody. So when I try to push my content, I speak of like higher power, you know, and God so that I'm not singling anybody out, but we are very faith-filled. And so I think that that was a big piece of it was like prayer and then like the small support system that we did have, like he has a best friend that he was,

you know, leaned on quite a bit who coincidentally had gone through IVF. Him and his wife had gone through challenges like previously. And so that he knew exactly what my husband was feeling like. And we have excellent communication. So we were able to talk about how we felt and, you know, why it was disappointing. And, you know, he didn't feel

uncomfortable, like actually crying when we, you know, saw our baby not have heartbeat, you know? So, yeah. But I think it was definitely Faith.

Chelsea Myers (33:33)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that's important.

Yeah, and that's important to share. And I say this to every guest on my podcast, like your story and your journey is yours. there's don't feel like even if it's something that isn't like widely accepted. It's this is your story. This is your time. And I love that that is

that you found such strength in that because it's unimaginable. I will be the first one to tell my guests I've never experienced a pregnancy loss. So I will never say I understand or I like that must have been so I can't understand that pain. But what I can understand is trauma and I can understand grief. And to have a coping skill that worked for you and your partner.

is huge. It's huge because that's a horrible thing to navigate alone.

Heather Kish (34:37)
Yeah, I think communication

was really good. And then I also think I'm a big fan of journaling because I feel like, and even if it's not in what you would consider like a typical journal, like paragraph form, but even if it's just like a brain dump, you know, like I feel like a failure or I'm so depressed. I don't want to get out of bed or, know, whatever it is, just getting those thoughts to paper.

Chelsea Myers (34:44)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (35:07)
That was like a really good coping mechanism for me as well.

Chelsea Myers (35:13)
I'm gonna harken back to season two. And if you haven't already, should definitely, one of our guests in season two, her name was Allie and she designed journals for moms that are specific for that, for like when you just have five minutes, right? When you just have five minutes and she has a family journal and she has a gratitude journal and...

Heather Kish (35:15)
You

I love that. Yeah.

I'm definitely going

to check that out.

Chelsea Myers (35:41)
Yes, please do. Ali's magnificent. And again, like I love being able to create these connections, like we are a quiet connection. But to hear you say that I'm like, I immediately think of Ali because that's exactly why she designed it. Just like I'm busy. I'm things are crazy. And just to be able to have a brain dump in. Yeah. So check, check her out. I'll send you her info. But

Heather Kish (35:48)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, definitely.

Chelsea Myers (36:10)
This is your time.

So when you finally got the one egg that would become the embryo that would become your daughter, you said your daughter? Yes.

Heather Kish (36:21)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (36:25)
How was that pregnancy? Were you able to enjoy that pregnancy or did it come with a lot of anxiety?

Heather Kish (36:32)
So I was able to enjoy it. It was a seamless pregnancy. I had a little bit of anxiety in the beginning, like I mentioned, because of getting to that point, to that marker of where, you know, am I going to make it to 10 weeks? And so those few weeks leading up to that was, I was very anxious and very

unsure. But at the same time, I felt like this is it. And this clicked. I can't explain it other than I just knew because it was a normal egg. Like, because I could get pregnant. And because I had done all the work that I now teach women how to do, I was confident that it was going to stick.

Chelsea Myers (37:15)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (37:28)
there was always this little voice in my head until I got past to like the 12th week mark, I'd say. And then after that, I wasn't nervous at all. I felt great. I didn't get sick. I was enjoying myself. I did acupuncture all the way up through it, because I had started that like about a year and a half previously to me getting pregnant, doing the IVF. And I had

Chelsea Myers (37:45)
Mmm.

Heather Kish (37:55)
developed some other strategies besides journaling. And so in my heart, I knew it was going to be golden. It was a little scary being told that you are a geriatric pregnancy and you're gonna have to go through some additional testing. like we had to do the anatomy scan and we had to

Chelsea Myers (38:11)
Yeah, I hate that term.

Heather Kish (38:21)
live in Virginia in Charlottesville, so I had to go to the University of Virginia and get her heart monitored to make sure that there wasn't any defects, because when you go through IVF, any IVF doesn't matter your age, there's like a 2 % 3 % chance that there's going to be a heart abnormality. And with my age, it was just exacerbated. And so that was scary. But it was more because of the unknown.

It wasn't that I thought something was going to be wrong. So it was a great pregnancy. I loved it. And I was like, felt fine. And I was, you know, you would never know that I was 44. Like people would tell me all the time, oh my gosh, you do not look 44. So yeah, it was, it was a great pregnancy. I wish I could have more, but now I'm just too old.

Chelsea Myers (39:08)
gosh. Yeah, that goes right along with the whole geriatric pregnancy thing though. Like I hate the limits that are put on us. But I understand and I feel you for sure. Let's talk about when your daughter was born. What were those first moments like?

Heather Kish (39:12)
Thank

they were amazing. I had to have a C-section, obviously, because I had mentioned I had the fibroids and they didn't want my rupture, my scar tissue to rupture. But I got hit in the head. I was kind of glad because I didn't want to have to push. So I'm kind of like over all the pain that I've had to go through with my poor uterus. So I was like thankful that she was just going to be.

Chelsea Myers (39:45)
Yeah

Heather Kish (39:56)
taken out, but she did make a grand entrance. I had a scheduled C-Section and it did not stay scheduled in the way that it was supposed to go down. So the Friday before I went in to for pre-op, check her heart, check her oxygen levels and my water broke. On the table while we were listening and I was like, told my husband,

I did not go pee and there is liquid warm liquid on my leg. So yeah, he's like, okay, let me get the doctor. So she was like, okay, she came in and she goes, heart rate still sounds good. Oxygen still looks good. But I think I know what happened. So stand up and stand up slowly and gosh. And she's like, okay, we're going across the street because she's making an entrance and cause I

Chelsea Myers (40:52)
Hahaha

Heather Kish (40:54)
I did know that it was a girl. did know because at my 30 week scan for the heart, I said that I wanted to know. And so we knew that it was a girl. So anyway, I wheel across the street and I could already start feeling the contractions. And I was like, oh no, I was only a centimeter and I was already complaining, but she was out in like two hours. And so it was great.

I had a group of doctors that I felt really comfortable with through the whole, leading up to the whole thing. So they rotate so you're comfortable if you don't have like the one doctor that you know, you don't freak out. So I knew who was on call and she was fantastic and everything went fine and she was perfect. And once they got her all cleaned up, they gave her back to me. Cause I really wanted that skin on skin contact.

And it was awesome. She was perfect. She was like about two and a half weeks early, but she was still over the weight and she was fine. Like we left, you know, a couple of days later and she was perfectly fine. Everything had developed her lungs and her heart and everything looked good. So yeah, it was good.

Chelsea Myers (42:10)
That's amazing.

so again, it does not detract from the experience that you went through to get to where you got to. But I'm so thankful that you were able to have those moments with her and that yeah, you got you even got to experience sounds like golden hour. A lot of C section mamas don't get to experience that. So that's amazing. ⁓

Heather Kish (42:32)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, the

only difficulty I had was latching. I wasn't really producing enough yet. And so we had a lactation consultant come in and she gave me like a shield, a nipple shield. And then that she took to that right away. It was just easy for her to get. And I pretty much stayed using that even, you know, I did, I breastfed for about 13 weeks, but I just wasn't producing enough. I should have started.

pumping before she got here like hindsight 2020. But I did give her that, you know, at least a little bit for a few weeks and that went well. So I was happy for that. But that was probably the only difficulty like right out of labor and in the hospital. was like kind of bummed about that. But I got through it. You kind of feel like, can't I do this? Because every mommy does this, right? But that's not the case. Not every mommy can, you know.

Chelsea Myers (43:35)
No. And there's so

many reasons for that too. There's a lot of reasons for that. And we've talked about a lot of those reasons on the podcast before. Some people just don't produce or they don't produce in the time that they need to. And then there's this whole phenomenon of dysphoric milk ejection where you get severely depressed when you breastfeed. So it really goes along with the theme of like you were talking about

Heather Kish (43:38)
Yep.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (44:05)
my body is supposed to be able to do this. Why isn't it doing this? It's like, well, you know what? Your body is your body. Yeah, and your body is going to do what it can do. And you not and we need to stop comparing ourselves to to others, which is what you're doing with the work that you do to help women with with their fertility journeys now is

Heather Kish (44:09)
Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (44:33)
I think what strikes me so much about it and what I love is it's such a similar ideology to, this is gonna seem like a reach, but it's not, I promise. So I worked in intensive special needs education for 10 years. And my philosophy was about my students and all students is like, no two children learn the same.

Heather Kish (44:45)
Hahaha

Chelsea Myers (45:02)
It doesn't matter if you have a disability or if you are neurotypical or whatever it is, no two kids learn the same. So why are we teaching all of our kids the same? why are, and it's the same kind of thing. No two bodies are the same. And so why are we treating them all the same? And why are we medicating them all the same? So yes, so I vibe very much with your philosophy.

Heather Kish (45:05)
Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

Correct.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (45:27)
You emphasize a lot and you did an amazing job of doing this for yourself, but being your own best advocate and advocating for yourself through all of this, what are some ways that you find help you advocate for yourself and how do you help your clients advocate for themselves?

Heather Kish (45:37)
you

Mm-hmm.

So I think the biggest thing that I've noticed when I was going through my own journey and then now even more so in my niche when I find people who follow me or I go and look at other people's stories, you just assume that because they have a medical license that they know what they're doing and that they have all the answers. And I do not want to undercut.

conventional medicine at because I personally had phenomenal doctors. They're like one of the top 10 in the country. The doctor who just retired was like one of the first people in the United States in 1978 to actually successfully complete an IVF. So I love them. They're amazing. They have people from all over the country come to their clinic. But what they can't do, most clinics can't, is

They don't have the resources and they don't have the time to walk you through your entire journey of what you need. Fertility clinics and like endocrinologists, they focus on like getting you pregnant, but they don't focus on what's keeping you from getting you pregnant or what's blocked.

you from getting you pregnant. And there's so many variables, just like you were saying about, you know, issues of why a child can't learn something or one way that another child does. It's the same thing with our bodies. I have the philosophy that everybody is very bio individual. So what that means is like not only from a biological standpoint, but from a lifestyle standpoint.

from a dietary standpoint, from a stress management standpoint, we all need different things and how we respond to them and what we're willing to implement on this journey is different. And so you can't walk into a clinic and be told, okay, we're gonna do this, this, this, and this, and this before we get up to the IVF process, if you can even afford it.

So there's like all these different things that I think should be coupled with conventional medicine. I'm not saying not to do it, but I just think that if you can't afford it, it should be your first instinct to go run to them just because they're a doctor and they have a license where you can be trying other things. Like my doctor was, he didn't,

Chelsea Myers (48:16)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (48:37)
push it probably because is a conventional medicine doctor, but he did kind of slide things under the table with me to look at other options. And so that's how I discovered acupuncture. That's how I discovered, you know, other ayruvedic practices and oils and a different diet approach because I showed him what I was eating, but he didn't have.

Chelsea Myers (48:50)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (49:02)
time to devise like a specific plan for me because he didn't do testing on like what my levels were for, you know, trace minerals. They just don't have the time. They are focused on one thing and one thing only and that is getting you pregnant. They don't know what's going on with your job. They don't know, you know, what your living situation is like. They just don't have the time. So that's where I come in and I supplement that and I tell clients,

can work in collaboration with your doctor and you can share with me your testing, their treatment protocol, all of that, or you can keep us separate. However you want to handle it, I'm totally fine with either. And it's a personal choice, so, you know, but they work well when you have somebody that you can call day and night, because that was the other thing. They'd tell me to do something and then I'd be like, well, I have a question and it's 10 o'clock at night. So who am I gonna ask?

Chelsea Myers (49:58)
You

Heather Kish (49:59)
because the nurse isn't going to respond unless it was like about medicine. You know, they had an on-call doctor, but they didn't want you calling for like a silly question. Whereas my clients have 24-hour access to me. You know, they can text me, call me, message me, and I'll get back to them. So it's that kind of thing that conventional medicine isn't going to get you.

Chelsea Myers (50:13)
Yeah.

Yeah. I really, really appreciate how you acknowledge the marriage between the two sort of modalities. And I think this is a personal opinion and I try not to give those but I think that there is such a lack of open mindedness in the medical field into integrating not just

Heather Kish (50:30)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (50:47)
like pharmaceuticals or drug treatment plans. I think that preventative maintenance and holistic health as well as Western medicine really need to work together a little bit more. We'll see a healthier population, but that's a rabbit hole that I've been down and we won't go down that today.

Heather Kish (50:52)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

yeah.

Chelsea Myers (51:17)
So it's very much...

on brand for you, you go through these big life shifts. And to you, it's like, okay, I'm starting from scratch all over again. But to me, listening to your story back, like, it sounds like you were always on this path, just in a very roundabout way. Like you had always been interested in nutrition, and you had always been interested in health and fitness and

Heather Kish (51:38)
you

Hmm

Chelsea Myers (51:45)
And yeah, you worked in sales for a long time and that's cool. And we all have memories of those jobs. And then you worked for IT security and that seemed very, very different. But then you just sort of, you just sort of unified all of your life experiences and now you're doing something that you're so passionate about. And not only is it fulfilling to you, but it is helping so many other people to feel.

safe and feel fulfilled in their fertility journeys. So I think that's beautiful. And I think it's amazing. I mean, I really do. And I've loved hearing you talk about it because you talk about it with such passion. And I can tell how important your clients are to you. But I also

Heather Kish (52:20)
Thank

Thank you. My husband,

no, I was just going to say my husband, that's kind of how it came to fruition. Me actually pursuing this and getting the training I needed to jumpstart this whole journey. He said, when you talk about nutrition and reproductive issues and our fertility journey, you light up. You need to figure out how to monetize that because

Chelsea Myers (52:54)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Kish (52:59)
You want to be of service to people. You don't want to be figuring out where somebody's email came from that caused no malware.

Chelsea Myers (53:08)
Yeah, yes, I feel that. ⁓ that's also amazing that you had like such support from your husband and that he could recognize that in you. My husband is the same way and it's and it does make all the difference in the world.

Heather Kish (53:09)
So...

you

Mmm.

Chelsea Myers (53:28)
I've loved hearing you speak about this because even though your journey did not go maybe the way you expected it to. And like you said, you were kind of on the fence. I could have kids, I could have, I could not have kids, but going through the journey was not easy. You are here today. You are on the other side and there is joy. There is joy and there is passion. And that's just a testament to your resiliency, but also just your bad assery as a mom.

So I always wrap up my episodes with one of two questions. And I think I have mine picked out for you. I don't pick them out ahead of time. I kind of wait. I think if you... So for our listeners, if you could pick one message...

Heather Kish (54:09)
Okay.

Chelsea Myers (54:23)
from your story and your journey, one thing, one little kernel that they could take with them, maybe it's somebody who's going through fertility struggles right now, or maybe it's someone who knows someone who's going through fertility struggles right now. What do you hope they take away from what you've shared with us here today?

Heather Kish (54:42)
⁓ I think just to find, I think the biggest thing is to find a support system. ⁓ I think so many people, ⁓ think that that has to look like or fit in a certain container. And like we discussed, everybody's journey is different. And so you need to find what's going to work best for you. ⁓ whether you keep it close to the vest, like I did, or whether you.

find a tribe and a group that you can bounce things off of and ask questions and that sort of thing. And then additionally, and probably the most important thing is to not give up and accept your diagnosis as definitive because I personally believe that it's not. I personally believe that unless you have some sort of

you medical, like true issue, you know, where you cannot for whatever reason, whether you've had surgery or, you know, some genetic predisposition, for the most part, we can get pregnant. We just have to figure out what's blocking it. And so I just tell people not to give up and look and seek out what your body needs.

and what you need to promote your health in all facets of life to support conception.

Chelsea Myers (56:16)
Yeah, that's, that's beautiful. That's a that's an awesome. That's an awesome, like summary of everything. You you summed it up so nicely. ⁓ in a neat little package. ⁓ I often forget to ask this, but these this will all be linked in your show notes. But if my listeners would like to learn more about you, where are the best places to find you?

Heather Kish (56:26)
I'm

Sure, so probably the easiest because we met through Instagram and everybody's in this Instagram space is my feed. So it's Harvest Health with Heather is my handle. And then same thing with my website. So HarvestHealthWithHeather.com is the easiest. And I have a great freebie if any of your listeners want to get started on how they can immediately impact.

their egg health and boost it within 90 days. They can get that freebie online.

Chelsea Myers (57:16)
Yep, definitely

check out Instagram and threads. And Heather is one of those amazing accounts that if you interact, she will interact back with you. It's not a bot. It's not some AI you're actually going to hear from Heather. So Heather, thank you. I'm so glad we were able to connect and I'm so thankful for you for sharing your story.

Heather Kish (57:27)
Yeah.

thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad we were finally able to connect to with all of our crazy momhood lives. And I was like really looking forward to today. So thank you so much for sharing the safe space with me.

Chelsea Myers (57:54)
Thank you so much, Heather. Your journey is a powerful reminder that no two fertility or motherhood experiences are the same and that emotional and physical support are essential in navigating any challenges along the way.

If this conversation resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need it. You can keep up with us on Quiet Connection by following us on Facebook, Instagram, Red Note, YouTube, and threads at Quiet Connection podcast. You can also find us on Blue Sky at Quiet Connection pod. You can help our community grow by leaving us a rating and review on Apple podcasts or Spotify and consider sharing our episodes on social media.

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I see you.