Holly F : When Motherhood Meets the Unexpected - Rebuilding after GBS

In this episode of Quiet Connection, I’m connecting with Holly Frances, who shares the raw and emotional story of becoming a mother—just as her body was shutting down from Guillain-Barré Syndrome.

Diagnosed just weeks after giving birth, Holly spent nearly three months in the ICU, fighting for her life. She opens up about the physical toll of GBS, the guilt of not being able to care for her daughter, and the slow, determined climb toward healing.

Holly’s story is one of resilience, vulnerability, and quiet transformation—proof that even in our darkest seasons, there’s a way forward.

To learn more about Holly, visit her Instagram, Facebook, or Website. 

Takeaways

• Holly always dreamed of being a mother from a young age.
• The journey into motherhood was planned and exciting for Holly.
• Life doesn't always go as planned, as Holly learned through her illness.
• Holly was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome shortly after giving birth.
• Support from family and medical staff was crucial during her recovery.
• Holly found hope through connecting with other GBS survivors.
• The journey of recovery taught Holly to appreciate small moments of motherhood.
• Courage can manifest in quiet determination rather than loud declarations.
• Holly's bond with her daughter strengthened through their shared experiences.
• Holly's story serves as a beacon of hope for families dealing with GBS.

Sound Bites

• "I was diagnosed with a rare disease."
• "I could no longer walk."
• "I was put into ICU on a ventilator."
• "I wanted to give up."
• "I felt very alone."
• "You just gotta keep trying."
• "Courage doesn't always roar."

Transcript

Chelsea Myers (01:13)
Today I'm here with Holly. Holly, how are you?

Holly Frances (01:17)
I'm doing good Chelsea, how are you doing today?

Chelsea Myers (01:19)
I'm doing pretty good. We were just chatting and I was saying it's a Monday evening and I've got mom brain so we're gonna hope for the best. I'm so happy to have you on and I'm happy to connect with you. And I'd love it if you could introduce yourself to our listeners and also let us know who was Holly before Holly was a mom.

Holly Frances (01:45)
So my name is Holly, Holly Francis. yeah, I mean, before I was a mom, I was new in my career. I worked in HR. I still work in HR, but I was, you know, just a daughter, a wife, a friend. I had a life, you know, I was just so excited about my future. I was in my twenties at the time before I had kids.

and I was just so excited about what was to come and had all these images in my mind of what life was going to be like for me in the future.

Chelsea Myers (02:18)
Yeah, so you definitely had a plan. You had an idea. Were kids part of that plan?

Holly Frances (02:25)
Yeah, I knew from a very young age, like I'm talking probably two, three years old, that I was going to be a mom. I was the girl that was always playing mom and holding my dolls. And I knew that I was destined to be a mother one day. I met my then husband at the time when I was 18 years old. And I knew that I wanted to get married, have babies one day. yeah, it was definitely a part of the plan.

Chelsea Myers (02:30)
You

Yeah, you sound like someone who is very type A, like very much like I know what I want from life and I'm gonna get it. And I love it. Even with the way that you're describing things, you're so succinct and you're so well spoken. Yeah.

Holly Frances (03:11)
Definitely, definitely Type A Yeah. And

I think, I mean, it's kind of bitten me in the butt a couple of times because it's like that's not life. Life doesn't always go the way we want it. So I've learned a lot over the years. And obviously, we're going to talk about my story. And that's a huge part of that is just learning. Yeah. Like life doesn't always go to plan. And sometimes you have to readjust.

Chelsea Myers (03:20)
Mmm.

Yeah, I mean, I am not type A and I'm learning that as well. So that's like a, it's like a universal thing. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, let's get into it. Let's dive right in. Like you said, you met your then partner when you were 18 and decided to have kiddos. What was that journey like for you guys?

Holly Frances (03:41)
Yeah, yeah. It is, yes.

It was very exciting. It was this new chapter in our lives. We were, it was planned. We were like, okay, we're ready. We're going to have kids. It happened so quickly. I was very fortunate that I got pregnant right away. Pregnancy was a breeze. I mean, of course there's some challenges along the way, but I was so happy and I was just so excited to be a mom after all those years of, you know, dreaming about it. So I was just looking forward to that day. And then when she was born,

It was like the happiest day of my life. I know all moms say that, of course, but it's true. And she was born and I was just so happy that she was healthy. And, you know, all my dreams were coming true. And we dove right into being parents, being new parents. I was 26 and we were just adjusting to life at home and adjusting to, you know, a very quick change in lifestyle and all the diaper changes and up.

Chelsea Myers (04:54)
Yeah.

Holly Frances (04:56)
late at night and I live in Canada so it was like minus 30 at the time. It was freezing cold, was like this snowstorm. So we didn't even really leave the house and we were just know hankered down adjusting to being parents and loving every minute of it. But very quickly I found out that you know like I said life doesn't go to plan and I was diagnosed with a rare disease that changed the course of my life.

Chelsea Myers (05:27)
Yeah, and as I was, so I tend to not do a lot of back research before I meet a guest, because I like to meet you authentically, just like my listeners are. But GBS, which we will talk about, was not something I had ever heard of. So I did do, I mean, I am a research type person. So I did do a little bit of research on it.

Holly Frances (05:36)
I love it.

Chelsea Myers (05:52)
And it is incredibly rare. and yeah, you, I, I, we're gonna talk about it. I'm not gonna list it off, because it's not something that I experienced. how quickly was that onset? And when did you realize something's not right here when you're in the middle of this baby bubble?

Holly Frances (06:13)
Yeah, yeah, so it was very sudden. ⁓ so GBS, it's a know, it's this rare autoimmune disorder. And at the time, I like you, I have never heard of it. I never I didn't know what that was. So when it was when it was happening to me, of course, I was very naive. I'm thinking what's going on. So it first started with this weird little tingle in my fingertip and almost felt like I'd burnt myself. It was so minuscule that I even brushed it off.

and didn't even really realize that that was my first symptom until months later when I learned more about it. But very quickly in the same day, I suddenly had this weakness in my legs and this pain in my neck. And it just kind of gradually got worse as the day went on. I thought maybe, I just slept on my neck funny and it just got worse and worse. I took some Advil, pain wouldn't go away. Tried to like massage my neck.

not getting better, I actually eventually went to a medicenter because I was googling my symptoms and it was like, you probably have a pinched nerve. And so I'm like, I must have a pinched nerve. So I went to a doctor and the doctor actually agreed with me and said, yeah, you probably do just go home and we'll get you in to see a physiotherapist in the next couple of days. And I went home and everything just continued to get worse. The weakness, the pain.

Chelsea Myers (07:14)
Yeah.

Holly Frances (07:30)
And that night I went up the stairs and I was having a really hard time lifting my legs up to even get up the stairs. I told myself, you know, I just need a good night's sleep. I'm probably just really tired. I haven't slept much in the last three weeks. And I went to bed and I could not sleep. I was in too much pain. I was just struggling to figure out what the heck was happening and why a pinched nerve was this painful. And, you know, I...

of toss and turn for hours and then in the middle of the night about 3 a.m my daughter woke up she had to nurse and she's crying and I stood up and I went to go to her and my legs actually buckled and completely gave out of me and I could no longer basically kind of use my legs so I knew then you know this is very serious I need to go to the hospital I woke up my daughter's dad said you know I need to go to the emergency room

rushed me there. said, you know, just drop me off. I'm sure it's just, you know, something's going on with this pinch nerve and I'll be back soon. And ⁓ yeah, I walked in the doors, very, very weak. And eventually when I seen the doctor, I could no longer walk. And thankfully I seen a doctor that recognized my symptoms and said, I think you have this rare disease called Guillain-Barre syndrome.

Chelsea Myers (08:39)
Mm.

Holly Frances (08:47)
And from that point, it just kind of snowballed. Everything went so quickly. And within 72 hours of that very first symptom, I was put into ICU on a ventilator because the weakness had spread through my body, my entire body, and I could no longer breathe on my own.

Chelsea Myers (09:04)
Yeah, and you said this was only three weeks? Only three weeks after having your daughter?

Holly Frances (09:09)
Yes, my daughter was, yeah, she was only like 21 days old.

Chelsea Myers (09:13)
Yeah, my gosh. So it, it speaks to so many things, so many things that you said. One of them being moms and women tend to write off their symptoms, right? Like when something's going on with mom, we're always like, it's probably I'm tired. it's probably and I think we're like, kind of conditioned into that, like, we've got, we've got other things to do. So and this isn't a big deal.

Holly Frances (09:36)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (09:40)
and, and in the same vein, with you saying to your partner at the time, like, well, you can just drop me off. It's probably not a big deal, right? that resonates with me. I, I had my own medical emergency, this time last year and said to my partner, you can just drop me off. And I was, it was a brain hemorrhage. And I just said,

Holly Frances (10:01)
Wow.

Chelsea Myers (10:02)
But right, like, so we're just like, ⁓ it's probably nothing, like, just drop me off. I'll check in with you later. Right. And especially for you, you're still, you were still in the baby bubble. You were still adjusting to new motherhood. Like, I can't imagine, and I would love to talk about it, what that felt like to hear, like you've never heard of GBS and they're explaining it to you.

What were your thoughts in those first few moments?

Holly Frances (10:34)
Yeah, so when they first said it, they're saying, you you have this rare disease, it's called Guillain-Barré syndrome. I couldn't even pronounce it at the time. It took me months to figure that out. Yeah, it was very difficult. And I'm thinking, okay, give me the medication and then I'll be on my way. And then they had to kind of talk me down and say like, no, this could potentially get more severe. Yes, you're weak right now, but it could get worse, which is what happened.

Chelsea Myers (10:43)
Look it up.

Holly Frances (11:01)
But I remember at the time just thinking like, it's not going to be that way for me. It's not going to be severe. I'm going to get out of this. only 26. I was very naive to the fact that, you know, illness is going to affect people of all ages. It doesn't just happen to somebody that's 85 years old. And it was like this huge shock. And then my body obviously gave out on me and I was put into ICU and put on a ventilator. And I had

basically an artery was ruptured and had to have some emergency surgery and it was just, it was very horrific and traumatic. And when I woke up, I, for a moment, I thought I was dying and I was like convinced that I was not going to make it. And then a few hours later when I woke up again, it was like, okay, I'm fine. That was, you know, the medication. And then as that medication kind of wore off, it was like, okay, wait a second. Now,

Chelsea Myers (11:36)
Mm.

Holly Frances (11:58)
I realized what's happening and like I'm in ICU. I have a ventilator down my throat. I can't speak. My body's paralyzed from this disease that I know nothing about. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. couldn't even whisper anything. And then of course my daughter, she's a newborn. So the hospital was very accommodating and they brought in a bassinet and they put the bassinet right beside my bed and said,

Chelsea Myers (12:25)
Hmm.

Holly Frances (12:26)
you know, we need to keep that bond very strong. So they would put her on my chest and they would lay her in bed with me. But I was, you know, dealing with my own stuff. was so out of it and dealing with pain and dealing with just severe exhaustion and not even really understanding what was happening to me. So it was hard to, you know, even focus on my daughter. So it was just it was such a

wild journey that entire time just going like, don't know what my future looks like. I want to be a mom. Am I ever going to be a mom? Am I going to be able to get out of here? I mean, when you're in ICU and you're surrounded by doctors and family members, it's very hard to believe that you actually are going to get out of there. And they're saying you got to fight for your daughter and you know, they're putting her right up to my face. And I'm going, I don't know if I can do this, right. And so it was, was

Chelsea Myers (13:18)
Mm.

Holly Frances (13:22)
It was very surreal and was very bittersweet that she was there. Because on one side it was like, know what, you're right. I need to fight for her and I need to do everything I can to get back to her and get back to being me, being back to being her mom. But on the other side, it was so heartbreaking because it was like, well, I can't, I can't even kiss her. I can't even hold her in my arms. I'm watching my family members as they're holding her and rocking her and feeding her and changing her and.

She's getting raised in this hospital room while I'm fighting for my life. And it was just so much guilt and pain and a lot of heartbreak over this all happening to me at this certain time in my life.

Chelsea Myers (14:04)
Yeah. it's wild. Wild isn't even the right word, but that's just the word that comes to mind. Because even if you had always pictured yourself being a mother, like even if that was something that was a... The transition into motherhood is such a huge shift in a person's life to begin with. And you were just in those early stages of figuring that out.

And then you're hit with this incredibly rare disease, which so for listeners who, if you're like us and had never heard of it before, it's a neurological disorder, correct? And it sort of basically hijacks your immune system and attacks your your whole, your nervous system. It just, yeah, it just, it, turns in on itself and your body turns in on itself and it,

it literally affects everything from like your brain to your spinal column to your to just everything that helps makes you operate. And that's terrifying. That's terrifying on its own. But you, you were dealing with that in these first few moments of this huge transformational part of your life.

How long were you in ICU? Just ICU alone? Like I'm sure you were transferred at some point, but

Holly Frances (15:23)
Yeah.

Yeah, I was eventually transferred, but I was in ICU for almost three months. So it was, yeah, like you said, like I had barely begun life as a mom. And like I said, it was winter. And so we hadn't even left the house yet. I barely even introduced her to any of my friends and family. And I had all these visions of, yeah, we're going to go visit.

this friend and we're going to have play dates and I'm going to take her for a walk in the springtime. And all of a sudden I'm in ICU fighting for my life and not sure if I'm going to make it out alive. And you know, like I said, she's being raised in the hospital and it was just so heartbreaking, especially as time went on. So the doctors told me, know, with GBS, how it works is that your immune system attacks itself. It can cause weakness,

potentially paralysis depending on the patient, everybody's different. In my case, it was a very severe case. So it was just kind of a wait and see and let's hope that you soon start to recover. We just have to wait. And so that's what we did. And so for weeks and weeks, I was just paralyzed, unable to do anything and felt very disheartened and broken at times going, I don't know if I can keep doing this. know, every day was exactly the same

Doctors are telling me you got to keep moving. You got to keep you got to keep you know, keep that faith But it's hard when you're just stuck there Constantly paralyzed. There's no movement. I was stuck in my own body and I'm waiting for my you know my Lungs to get stronger so that I could get off the ventilator and that's not happening and my daughter I'm watching her get older like she's changing in front of me and

Chelsea Myers (16:50)
Yeah.

Holly Frances (17:07)
It was just such a dark time. And I will absolutely admit that, you know, there was times that I wanted to give up and that I said, you know, I can't do this. And I would beg the doctors or my family and said, just let me go. Just let me just let me leave. But of course, they wouldn't do that. They were they were fighting for me. And thankfully, and they actually got in touch with a previous GBS survivor. So which I think is amazing that my the medical team would even think to do that. You know, they said

Chelsea Myers (17:18)
Mm.

Huh.

Holly Frances (17:37)
This

woman doesn't know GBS. She's never experienced it. She's never met somebody that has been through with this before, but there are people out there that have. And so they found another GBS survivor and they got him to come to the hospital to see me. And he walked into the hospital room, fully recovered. And he told me about his story, about how he was in ICU as well and how he returned to his family. And he had like a young daughter at the time.

Chelsea Myers (17:55)
Mm.

Holly Frances (18:04)
So it was very inspiring to me, even me being almost sedated. I'm barely conscious having these conversations with him, one-sided conversations, obviously, and ⁓ going, wow, if he can get through this, then maybe so can I. And so that was a huge turning point for me to just keep going. And eventually I was able to start practicing off the ventilator and practice. It was actually seconds at a time until it would like,

gradually increase off the ventilator

Chelsea Myers (18:36)
my gosh. Yeah, I know what it's like in the ⁓ ICU. I cannot imagine I feel like I'm going to be saying that a lot this episode, but I cannot imagine being completely immobile and unable to communicate in general, but especially in the ICU, there is no downtime. There is no quiet time in the ICU. People are poking and prodding you.

every hour at the least, at the very least. I, and I love that you, that you talk about the duality of your experience there as well, like with your friends and your loved ones. Like there was this side of you that was appreciative that they were there and that your daughter was able to be there and that they fought for you. But then also acknowledging, right, like you almost felt like a passenger in, your own life story.

Holly Frances (19:04)
Yes.

Chelsea Myers (19:31)
Like things were just happening.

Did you find any sort of a way to be able to communicate during that time?

Holly Frances (19:41)
We did, yeah. So we were lucky that, again, you know, with the help of some like social workers, they got in touch with the GBS Foundation. We found out there was this whole community of other people out there. And when I was in it, I felt very alone. Like I felt like I was one of a million patients in the world or one in a billion patients. It almost felt like the way that some of the doctors would talk to me. They would be like, I've never seen a patient with GBS before.

Chelsea Myers (20:07)
Mmm.

Holly Frances (20:09)
And so I felt like I was very alone. And then we found this foundation and they were able to, you know, provide some documents that basically had letters and words and different phrases. And they could basically show me how to blink. And basically that's how I communicated. Eventually I was strong enough that I could start moving my mouth and the ventilator tube was actually moved to my throat.

And from there I was able to mouth words. And so that was another huge turning point because I could actually, you know, mouth things and my family would be able to read words. But it was, yeah, a long three months of trying to communicate to people what I wanted and what I needed. And it's funny because my mom was there. She was my guardian angel. She was there with me every single day. She literally did not leave, even at nighttime. She slept there with me.

Chelsea Myers (20:59)
Mmm. my gosh.

Holly Frances (21:03)
And she was my voice. And it was funny because we laughed because afterwards, even for like the first probably several weeks, anytime somebody would talk to me, I would immediately turn my head to look to her, even when I could talk again. And it was just I was just so used to her being my voice.

Chelsea Myers (21:15)
Mm-hmm.

So again, this experience happens to you. And today we're talking about it as it relates to you and your motherhood journey. But like, just I want to acknowledge that like, this goes so far beyond that.

Holly Frances (21:34)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (21:37)
But in terms of you, your experience coming into motherhood, were there ways that your family and your friends were helping you to, like you said, they were laying her on your chest or putting her up to your face. Were there other ways that they were encouraging you to maintain that connection with her or to build on that connection with her?

Holly Frances (22:01)
Yeah, so there was, I mean, there's some struggles along the way. I wanted to continue breastfeeding, of course, very quickly. Our nurses were like, you know what, you can't do that with the medication that you were on, which was very heartbreaking. But we continued to try to have me on her bed. They would take this pillow. It was kind of like a nursing pillow and they would kind of prop it between myself and the bed and they would put her there and then they would put the bottle there so that and then they would kind of just sit by.

so that it was almost like I was a part of her being fed. So yeah, we did whatever we could so that she was constantly there. mean, my mom was there constantly, but then my daughter would come at about like 10 in the morning every day. She would stay till 8 p.m. every single night. So she was there, absolutely. And as I got stronger and stronger, then we started to like be resourceful and figure out ways I would put my hand up and we would like...

Chelsea Myers (22:28)
Mm.

Yeah.

Holly Frances (22:56)
cock my wrist up against her bottle just so that it was like I was part of that feeding. So yeah, it was was wild because I was so heartbroken that I couldn't be her mom. But I think it's also such a blessing that this did happen to me at this time because I feel like she was like this angel and she was just like this bright light in ICU she brought so much laughter so much joy into that

time period that I can't imagine going through without her being there.

Chelsea Myers (23:30)
this is something that I've discussed on another podcast, but like the US healthcare system versus the Canadian healthcare system. And I don't know if that would have even been a thing that would have been allowed if it was here in the US. Like the ICU is so incredibly limited and that's even pre-COVID, like it is locked.

Holly Frances (23:48)
Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Yes.

Chelsea Myers (23:57)
down. So I think that it's incredible and like you're saying like her presence alone was almost like medicine in itself. Yeah.

Holly Frances (24:08)
Absolutely.

Yeah, not just for me, for my family and even the nurses right? Like they all grew to love her and she was like this newborn baby that slowly was getting older and older and they looked forward to coming into work and people would take turns, you know, holding her and caring for her and caring for me. And yeah, it was just like this big family.

Chelsea Myers (24:16)
Yeah!

I was going to say, I bet they all fought over who got to work in your room that day. So you spent three months in the ICU. From there, were you, did you still have to stay inpatient? Yep. Yep.

Holly Frances (24:36)
You baited.

I did, yeah. So after

that I was released and I was put into basically the stroke and neurology ward because the GBS is rare. They don't really know where else to put you so that's where you go. So I was still paralyzed. Like, you when I got out of ICU, I was just starting to regain function. So I was able to like move my hands a little bit, but that was about it. I really couldn't do anything. So I had to regain strength and go through very intense physiotherapy.

So that's why, you know, a stroke neurology ward made sense. But it was very eye opening. mean, I was 26, so I was the youngest person on the ward for sure. And I went through physiotherapy and had to learn how to do everything again. So I learned how to hold cutlery and eventually how to feed myself, how to hold her, how to breastfeed again. I was able to get into that again. Yeah, for a little bit, for a little bit.

Chelsea Myers (25:37)
you could! ⁓ that's so good.

Holly Frances (25:40)
was able to eventually get to hold her into my arms and rock her. And as time went on, I was able to get stronger and stronger and learn how to walk again.

Chelsea Myers (25:51)
that. So and I say for listeners who heard me get excited about you being able to breastfeed, that's because that was a wish for you. I do not hold strong opinions either way. Like I feel like a fed baby is a healthy baby. But because it was so important to you, I'm so excited that you were able to do that even for a little while. And I think something that's

Holly Frances (26:11)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (26:18)
maybe misunderstood. And we even may think this ourselves for parents who are navigating like diagnoses as with really young kids or with babies. We have this, and you can you can speak to this as if this is true for you, but this like guilt, this guilt that like, I can't be your mom, ⁓ or, or like, I'm not a mom, like I can't, I'm not doing anything, I'm not good. And

Holly Frances (26:36)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (26:44)
Again, not a mental health professional, but going through sim- I did not have GBS, but going through similar experiences, I had it said to me and it really resonated. And it says, why, why can't you be a mom just because it doesn't look like what everyone else looks like? Yeah.

Holly Frances (27:02)
Mm-hmm.

Yes. Yeah, that

absolutely resonates with me. Being in ICU, yeah, there was so much guilt that it was like, I can't be the mom that she needs me to be. And there were times that my family would say, you know, you need to see my daughter's name is Casey. And they would say, you need to spend time with Casey. You haven't even really like cuddled with her today. And I was dealing with a lot of nausea and vomiting and pain. So there was times that they would, you know, try to put her in my bed and I would shake my head and say, no, I'd

I don't want her on my bed. And it was this severe guilt and pain because it was like, I'm nothing. I'm just, I'm this vegetable and I can't be the mom that she needs. She's a newborn. She needs cuddles and love and hugs and feeding and burps and I can't do that. And so it just made me very angry. And then yeah, like as time went on and I did get better.

I was still struggling and I was still in the hospital when I got home. I was still very weak and I couldn't do a lot of stuff and there was a lot of guilt for a lot of time. Like I can't be the mom that she deserves. ⁓ She deserves somebody that can play with her, that can get down on the floor with her, that can go for run and run around the house with her. And I couldn't do any of that. But I think as time went on and as I did get better and I realized, you know, everything that I went through,

kind of made me who I am. And it taught me so much about life and it made me just so grateful. You know, that very first time I remember getting on the couch and being able to change her diaper for the first time with my hands. My hands were finally strong enough and I could do that. And I remember, you know, before that it's like, ⁓ changing your diaper is like such a pain. And I was so grateful to be able to do that. And so it gave me this gratitude for being a mom. And so as time gone,

Chelsea Myers (28:40)
Hmm. Yeah.

Holly Frances (28:55)
went on, it changed my view on it. Instead of being like, know, like I feel guilty that I can't be the mom that I want to be for her. I was just grateful that I was her mom again and that I could be in a part of her life and that I was alive.

Chelsea Myers (29:10)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you were her mom. You were always her mom. It just looked different. It looked different. And I definitely resonate with the feeling worthless. Like I'm not good enough. I'm not enough as a mom. Yeah, I think so we've done a lot of episodes about a lot of aspects of motherhood.

Holly Frances (29:30)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (29:39)
This is a brand new area for me and us to be exploring. But I think it's so important because you're not the only person on the planet, number one, who has experienced GBS but number two, who has life get turned on its head, whether that be right after you have a baby or if you have young kids or if you have older kids.

your worth as a parent is not defined by what you can do for your kid. You were there and she was there. Yeah.

Holly Frances (30:09)
Exactly. Yeah,

absolutely. No, and I totally agree. Like it doesn't matter when it happens. There's no good time to be diagnosed with something or to have anything traumatic happen to you. But all you can do is kind of find the gifts within it. And that's what I did. Like, I mean, I look back when I when I got home from the hospital, she was almost six months old. So I spent one hundred and twenty six days in hospital and I lost out on so much time. I never got to take her on her first walk.

Chelsea Myers (30:18)
No.

Yeah.

Holly Frances (30:38)
didn't see her for smile, didn't get to take her to visit all my friends like I wanted to. And yeah, sure, I was angry for a while, but then I got over that and then it was like, you know what? I have all these gifts from it and it strengthened our bond. It made me so grateful to be at home, to be with her. And those are the gifts that I took away from that experience. And I think that that's what you kind of have to do. No matter what you're going through in your life, you have to try and you may have to dig deep.

to look for the gifts that you find out of your tragedies.

Chelsea Myers (31:06)
Yeah.

Yeah, I call them the glimmers. So glimmers are opposites of triggers, which we can talk about that as well too. But yeah, the glimmers in the situation looking for the joy. Because when you're going through that and you're feeling like you said, like there were moments where you're like, could you just let me go? Like, let me go. You have to actively look for the joy and choose to find it.

Holly Frances (31:34)
Yes.

Chelsea Myers (31:36)
I don't even I don't know if do so GBS they don't really have like a direct cause correct like did they could it have had anything to do with the fact that you had just had a baby?

Holly Frances (31:50)
Yeah, they can't guarantee, they can't say this is the exact cause, but typically GBS comes on about three to four weeks after some sort of event. that can be, it can be an array of things. So GBS is common to come on after like a flu or after a stomach bug. So, you know, usually three to four weeks.

But it can also come on after surgery, can come on after some vaccines, it can come on after childbirth. And there are many, many cases out there and I've been fortunate to meet many other women as well whose GBS came on about three to four weeks after giving birth. So they say it could be that I had a C-section for my daughter so it could have been the surgery. I had a bit of a cold before, who knows? So it's impossible to say for sure, but...

Chelsea Myers (32:41)
Yeah.

Holly Frances (32:43)
it's likely that it was around that time.

Chelsea Myers (32:47)
yeah, I and again, it's just one of those things too, that there are so many things you're at a heightened risk for just just for having just from giving birth. I say just it's a huge event in and of itself. So I guess I wasn't going to take it in this direction, but I think I kind of will like

Holly Frances (32:54)
Exactly.

Yes.

Chelsea Myers (33:08)
Because I love, so for listeners who are listening, I love seeing the joy on your face when you talk about your daughter now and when you talk about those little moments, like changing a diaper. And I'm sure there have been days since then where you're like, oh my God, if I have to change another diaper. In the back of your mind, maybe.

What was it like moving through that? What was your mental health like? Like when you came back home, when you were not surrounded by doctors all the time, when you weren't surrounded by people all the time? How was your mental health holding up at that point?

Holly Frances (33:50)
that point, actually very well. I think because I was just so happy to get out of the hospital and to be back to my life and I had thought a lot ⁓ of the times that I wasn't going to get out of there. And if I did, I would probably be in a wheelchair because that was discussed with me that, you you may not regain function completely in your legs. So you may be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. And these are things that cross my mind that I really don't know what my future looks like.

Chelsea Myers (33:52)
Okay.

Holly Frances (34:18)
So ⁓ yeah, I'm back at home and I'm just so grateful to be at home with her. So my mental health was in a great space. But you know, as time went back, went on, of course there's life and things go back to normal. And it's easy to just fall into the day to day routine and stuff. So sometimes you have to remind myself like,

hey, you've been through worse, you can get through this again. And there's a lot of those that still happen to this day that I have to remind myself of where I've been and what I've accomplished and that we are so much stronger as human beings than we think we are and we can overcome anything.

Chelsea Myers (35:00)
And like you said, it took work, it took a lot of therapies, like physical therapies, took a lot of... Fitness plays a role in your journey, correct? Yeah.

Holly Frances (35:11)
Yeah, so when I was going

through physiotherapy, I remember thinking like, I'm not gonna be able to do any of this. I'm so weak, it's so hard. And my physiotherapy team was so just motivating and they just said, you just gotta keep trying. just gotta keep trying. Every day you just gotta try again. And so I did and I promised myself that I would always just try again. And as time went on, I got slowly got stronger and stronger and stronger. And seeing that really motivated me and made me realize

how incredible fitness is and that, you know, if you put in the work, you will see the results. And so to this day, I mean, I got into exercising. I didn't do that before. I was never into it prior to my experience, but it just made me realize how incredible it is that we're able to use our body and move our body. And so I do every chance I can.

Chelsea Myers (35:49)
you

yeah, that's so, I hate it when people say, that's so inspirational. It's like, well, it's like, well, I didn't really have a choice at the time. that's, again, it's the joy that I see from you when you talk about it. Like you were in this situation and you had to do certain things, but you turned it into something that was a motivator and that stuck with you.

Holly Frances (36:26)
I'm sorry.

Chelsea Myers (36:27)
⁓

yeah. How old is your daughter today?

Holly Frances (36:31)
So she is 14 now. It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. So it was 14 years ago. And it's so funny because people are always like, so she's like not a baby anymore. Like, no, she is all grown up now. And it's funny because people will ask like, ⁓ so I guess like she was a newborn. So she doesn't really know about what happened. But like she does. She knows so much about our story. She was obviously there and she was

Chelsea Myers (36:33)
⁓ my gosh! Yeah!

No!

Holly Frances (36:58)
being videotaped. there's so many pictures and videos of her in the hospital. She knows so much about what happened and she's just such a huge part of that journey that I sometimes laugh because I'm like, yeah, I guess you don't know you were there, but you don't remember. But it's almost like she was just such a big part. It's almost like she does.

Chelsea Myers (37:19)
Yeah, well, that's what I was going to ask. do you have you talked about? Is it something that you guys talk about? I wouldn't imagine that it's like a daily conversation, but it's a huge part of your story. How do you guys talk about that?

Holly Frances (37:32)
Yeah, we've talked about it, I think, since she was born. Like she's always just known about it. It's just we've we've talked about it all the time about what I went through. I did obviously write a book about it. She has tried to start reading it and she finds it very difficult. So, you know, in her own time, one day she probably will read it. And yeah, I think it's definitely a hard chapter of her life to look back on and to know that this all happened when she was a newborn baby.

Chelsea Myers (37:42)
Mm-hmm.

Holly Frances (38:00)
But I think she's also very inspired by me, which I love. Like she's written about me in some of her class projects about like, you should see what my mom has overcome. So yeah, it's pretty amazing. Yeah. And I think it just strengthened our bond. Like I can't imagine, like I said, her not being a part of that journey. And she's just such a huge part of my experience with GBS.

Chelsea Myers (38:11)
my gosh.

Yeah.

Holly Frances (38:26)
that I wouldn't change it for the world.

Chelsea Myers (38:28)
Yeah. And like we said at the beginning, like those two experiences, your journey into motherhood and your GBS journey are so intertwined that how could she not? Right? Were there any lasting effects? Like are there things that are still tricky for you today because of GBS?

Holly Frances (38:40)
Exactly.

⁓ I have a little bit of weakness, very mild. I notice it like when I'm tired, I notice like if I'm like walking upstairs and I'm a little bit tired, I'll notice that it's a little bit hard to lift my leg on the last step. I get tingling in my fingertips and my toes, which is like the nerve pain from the nerve damage. Sometimes it gets pretty severe to the point, you know, where it's just like very painful. I was on medication prior, I'm not anymore, just because it's pretty, pretty mild.

⁓ So I'm pretty fortunate. mean, yes, I do have some residuals, but nothing that really affects me negatively on a daily basis. So I'm very fortunate. There's probably about 50 to 60, even more that of people that go through GBS that do struggle with weakness and fatigue and pain. So I do consider myself one of the lucky ones. But yeah, it's forever changed my life.

Chelsea Myers (39:47)
Yeah. And the reason that I ask that is kind of goes hand in hand with those thoughts that you had when you were in the thick of it and thinking about like, well, I can't do this and I can't do that. But throughout your daughter's life, this is you've always been mom. And regardless of what stage you were at in your GBS journey or what stage you were at in just your life journey, you're mom.

that's huge doesn't know any different. Right. And, and like you said, you have this incredible bond and and you strengthen each other. So I may even be saying this for myself, but just knowing like if you're in the thick of it, whatever you're in the thick of, if it's a medical diagnosis, if it's a mental health diagnosis, if you're just really, really overwhelmed with your life right now, like

Holly Frances (40:14)
Exactly.

Chelsea Myers (40:39)
And you're thinking to yourself, my kids think I'm a crap mom. Or like, I'm not good enough. It's like, you're a mom. You show up and you're a mom and that's all they know. That's right. In your case, thankfully, you made a pretty full recovery, which is amazing. And now you do a lot of advocacy work. You connect with other people who have experienced or are experiencing GBS.

Holly Frances (40:46)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Chelsea Myers (41:08)
you said you've met a lot, I don't know if you said you met a lot, you've met other moms who have experienced this. How do you have conversations with those moms around a GBS diagnosis?

Holly Frances (41:14)
Yes.

Yeah, I've had the opportunity to meet quite a few people. Like I said, this is GBS community and thanks to, you know, like Facebook and Instagram and hashtags and stuff, you can find people all over the world. And so that's one thing I just love about social media is I've been able to connect with people all around the world who went through what I did or even went through what I did right after the birth of their child.

Chelsea Myers (41:32)
Yeah.

Holly Frances (41:45)
So I laugh because I say that I've got a few like GBS twins, I call them, because there's a few women that I've met, some of them that are in the States and we've gone to conferences and we're like, yeah, our stories are so similar. They happened like two to three weeks after giving birth and just to find other people that know what it's like, but to be able to also give them that hope.

especially when it is a family member reaching out saying, like, sister is in ICU, she just had a baby and is she gonna recover? We've never heard of this disease before. And I'm able to go, there is hope. I'm here, I recovered, my daughter's 14 now, and there is life after GBS. And so that is so rewarding to be able to give that hope to family members and patients as well.

Chelsea Myers (42:33)
and that and it's such a beautiful way to I am not a fan of silver linings. I don't like the whole idea of silver linings. But I do believe that we find we find our power and we find our sometimes our purpose in some of the darkest moments. And and it really does sound like that's what happened here. Like and

Holly Frances (42:52)
Absolutely!

Chelsea Myers (42:57)
you went through something that it's unimaginable. It's unimaginable at any point in your life. And you took that and you turned it into something where you could hold hope for others. And that's beautiful. Beautiful is my word, by the way. Beautiful is my word that I need to I've said it before, like I need a thesaurus so that I can start using other words. But

Holly Frances (43:14)
Yeah.

It's hard.

I love the word beautiful too. I use it a lot. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (43:25)
Well,

yeah,

So there are so many things that I can relate to and that resonate with me just in terms of a medical journey. So I know that there are going to be listeners that this is going to resonate with. But even beyond that, just in your motherhood journey, how do you, you've sort of alluded to it several times, but how do you think GBS

impacted your view of yourself as a mother. Then and today.

Holly Frances (43:56)
Yeah, I mean, like I said, just realizing the little things. When I'm in ICU, I can't breathe, I can't speak, I can't move. And then now being able to do that, I am just grateful for a lot of little things that I would have never even been grateful for because I would have never even known, like breathing and walking and making my daughter lunch. And I remember the first time that I said changed her diaper, but the first time that I went for a walk with her.

when I took her to her first day of kindergarten. I think I had tears in my eyes because I was like, I'm so grateful that I get to walk her to school. And the first time that I took her to a play place and we were able to run around and I was just so grateful. So GBS has really changed my viewpoint on just how quickly life can change and in the blink of an eye and that we are so fortunate to have our health.

Chelsea Myers (44:27)
Mm.

Yeah.

Holly Frances (44:52)
And like I said, I wouldn't have that had I not gone through GBS

Chelsea Myers (44:55)
So I always wrap up on one of two questions and I always wait until the end of a session to decide which one I'm gonna ask and I think I've decided. I think I'm gonna do the the back in time question with you. I think I would love to know if you could go back in time

Maybe let's go way back. Let's go way back to like you were saying like you knew you wanted to be a mom when you were like three, four years old. If you could go all the way back to that little girl, you can't tell her anything about what her life is going to look like today, the good, the bad, the in between. But you could instill something in her to carry her through. It could be a word, it could be a phrase, it could be a feeling, anything. What would you instill?

within Little Holly.

Holly Frances (45:48)
I know exactly what I would say and it's actually a quote. So when I was in ICU and I had this GBS survivor that came to see me and I was struggling so hard and like I said, just struggling to keep going every day, wanting to give up. And he actually brought me this sign and he taped it to my wall right in front of me so I could stare at it and it said, courage doesn't always roar.

Sometimes it's the quiet voice at day's end saying, will try again tomorrow. And that is something that I still have to this day on my wall, in my office, and it's gotten me through so many hard times. And that's something that I would love for anybody to take with them, no matter what you're going through, is that courage doesn't always roar. You do not need to be this strong, powerful,

Chelsea Myers (46:20)
Mmm.

Holly Frances (46:40)
confident person going like yeah I got this I can do this I can get through today you don't have to be but you do have to just keep moving forward and even if you are doing it with tears in your eyes and you're at your lowest you just have to promise yourself that you're just gonna keep trying and you're you can always do it tomorrow

Chelsea Myers (47:00)
Holly, you answered both of my questions and you didn't even know what the other question was. My other question is, what do you want listeners to take away? And so that was like your message to yourself and to whoever's listening right now. You just gold star. Well, I have, I just want to thank you so much for.

Holly Frances (47:02)
Yeah

Absolutely.

Chelsea Myers (47:24)
giving me some of your time for sharing your story and for your advocacy work and your connections with other families who are going through similar situations because that's the greatest gift to them and being authentically you is the greatest gift to you and your daughter. So thank you so much for sharing your story.

Holly Frances (47:43)
Thank

you so much for having me on here and bringing awareness to GBS. So many people don't know what it is, don't know what it does to somebody and how it can really change somebody's life. And yeah, I'm fortunate that I was able to be on and just talk about it and share my story.