Aaisha A - Surviving Postpartum Psychosis

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode discusses intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and homicidal ideation related to postpartum psychosis. Please take care while listening.

In this deeply vulnerable and powerful episode, Chelsea sits down with author and advocate Aaisha Alvi to talk about her lived experience with postpartum psychosis—not once, but twice. Aaisha opens up about the terrifying symptoms she faced, how medical professionals repeatedly dismissed her cries for help, and the tragic consequences that so many families face due to widespread ignorance of this treatable condition.

They discuss Aaisha’s book, A Mom Like That, her journey from patient to advocate, and how helping another mom in crisis became a pivotal part of her healing. Aaisha reminds us all that postpartum psychosis is not who you are—it’s something you experience. And with proper care, healing is possible.

Important Links:

• Aaisha’s Instagram
• A Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis
• Aaisha’s Website

Takeaways

• Aisha Alvi is a postpartum psychosis awareness advocate.
• She experienced postpartum psychosis after both of her pregnancies.
• Healthcare providers often lack knowledge about postpartum mood disorders.
• Aisha's memoir details her experiences and the importance of awareness.
• Postpartum psychosis is a temporary and treatable condition.
• Many mothers face dismissal from healthcare providers when seeking help.
• Aisha's story emphasizes the need for better education on maternal mental health.
• The stigma surrounding postpartum psychosis can lead to tragic outcomes.
• Aisha's writing process was influenced by her desire to fill a gap in literature.
• Sharing personal experiences can help others understand and seek help. Everything in the book happened.
• The most terrifying part was not getting help.
• Helping others can be a form of healing.
• Postpartum psychosis is an illness that affects many.
• Awareness can save lives.
• Stigma around mental health needs to be broken.
• Honest narratives in motherhood are crucial.
• Family dynamics can shift with open conversations.
• Reader feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.
• Teaching children about mental health is essential.

Sound Bites

• "I'm a postpartum psychosis awareness advocate."
• "I started to feel depressed and super anxious."
• "I was never diagnosed."
• "This condition is temporary and treatable."
• "I refused to tone it down."
• "I always tell them to take their time with my book."
• "It's out there for when you're ready for it."

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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Transcript

Chelsea Myers (00:39)
Welcome to Quiet Connection, a podcast dedicated to ending the stigma around postpartum mental health. I'm Chelsea. Today I'm connecting with Aisha Alvi, an advocate, author, and survivor of postpartum psychosis. Aisha opens up about her personal journey through terrifying symptoms, being dismissed by multiple medical professionals, and the moment that changed everything. We also talk about her memoir, A Mom Like That.

and the life-saving work she's doing to spread awareness and compassion around this often misunderstood condition. This episode is raw, real, and incredibly important. Let's dive in.

Chelsea Myers (01:21)
Hello today, I'm here with Aisha Aisha. How are you?

Aaisha Alvi (01:26)
I'm doing very well. Thank you so much for having me on your show, Chelsea.

Chelsea Myers (01:31)
I am so excited to have you. I always love getting to connect with guests that I've met through social media. ⁓ I call you guys my pocket friends. Aisha is amazing because, and we'll get into this, but Aisha is a big advocate for awareness around postpartum psychosis. And anytime I have a question about any of my content or information, I go, Aisha, is this?

Did I get it right? Like, is this wording okay? And you're always, you're always so kind and so.

Aaisha Alvi (02:07)
And 99

% of the time, it's always on point.

Chelsea Myers (02:11)
I try to do my best. I do my research, but yeah, I just love that. I love being able to actually talk to people. ⁓ I mean, it's still a screen, but so Aisha, I could just keep going and listing off things that I think are amazing about you. But rather than doing that, ⁓ I'd love it if you could introduce yourself to my listeners and let us know.

Aaisha Alvi (02:22)
Yeah. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (02:40)
who you were before you were a mom.

Aaisha Alvi (02:43)
⁓ okay. ⁓ So right now I'm a postpartum psychosis awareness advocate as a result of my two experiences with postpartum psychosis. I'm also the author of A Mom Like That, a memoir of postpartum psychosis, which was published last year by Dungeon Press.

⁓ I volunteer with various maternal mental health organizations, including Postpartum Support International. Big shout out to them. And ⁓ I'm very passionate about raising awareness of postpartum psychosis toward preventing tragedy as a result of public and provider ignorance.

Chelsea Myers (03:10)
Yes. ⁓

Yes, and you do an amazing job of that. ⁓ You do. mean, you really do. And usually I say this at the end of the episode usually, but like, check the show notes, especially for this episode listeners, because all links like links to Aisha's book, links to social media, everything, ⁓ you should be following her. So see, I'm throwing in it at the beginning this time. Yeah. So

Aaisha Alvi (03:25)
⁓ thank you.

No.

Thank you.

Chelsea Myers (03:51)
We are we're going to talk about the book, we're going to talk about your experience a little bit. ⁓ But let's kind of let's get into that. You actually one of the things that I like to ask my guests and it seems like such a benign question, but it tells me so much. Did you always envision yourself being a parent?

Aaisha Alvi (04:12)
Yeah, yeah, I actually ⁓ did. I love children. so like before my experience with postpartum psychosis, I had just finished ⁓ my education and my ⁓ post-grad education. But I was just settling down to, I knew that I wanted to take some time off to have a child before I embarked fully into whatever I was going to do.

And so that was like something that was so important to me and I was like, you know, super anxious to get started with starting a family because that was like, you know, how I always, that was a really big part of my identity that I always imagined in addition to, you know, whatever career I would pursue. I always imagined myself with like more than, you know, like two, three children.

⁓ you know, I only have one child, but you know, that's as a result of many of the things that I, I went through, which I think we'll probably, you know, discuss here.

Chelsea Myers (05:13)
Yeah, absolutely. But it does it tells me so much. yeah, it seems like such a simple question. But it the answers are really are they always tell me so much. yeah, prior

Aaisha Alvi (05:23)
Right.

Chelsea Myers (05:28)
getting pregnant and starting a family. Had you been familiar at all with any perinatal mood and anxiety disorders?

Aaisha Alvi (05:37)
No, so ⁓ actually I had a bit of an ⁓ undergraduate education in psychology, but I had no knowledge of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, even though I was a psychology major. I did, however, have an understanding of depression and psychosis outside of pregnancy and postpartum, and I think that having knowledge of that kind of ⁓ helped me. But I did not have any understanding of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders at all.

Chelsea Myers (06:06)
Yeah, and which is, I mean, that's not uncommon. That's not uncommon at all. But it'll play a role. So for listeners, I've read the book, depending on how you define read, I started reading the book, and then I switched to listening to it as an audiobook. ⁓ And we'll get into that and the reasons for that. But yeah, it's gonna be hard for me to not give spoilers and let you tell your story.

Aaisha Alvi (06:09)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Chelsea Myers (06:36)
⁓ but yeah, let's talk about that a little bit. Like, let's talk about when you decided to get pregnant and what that journey looked like for you.

Aaisha Alvi (06:44)
Yeah, so, ⁓ you know, my journey toward getting pregnant was, ⁓ you know, I was initially told that I probably wouldn't be able to have children because I had really high prolactin levels, which is something that only women who are ⁓ lactating usually have. And so I was initially told that I probably would need fertility drugs or something like that. But surprisingly, like one of the first times I was like,

Chelsea Myers (07:03)
Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (07:12)
trying to get pregnant, I got pregnant. So I was like super happy and I was thrilled because that's what I wanted, I really wanted. So my pregnancy was very much wanted and it was fairly smooth, I would say like the normal ups and downs of a normal pregnancy kind of thing. And very soon after I gave birth, I started to feel depressed and super anxious.

And ⁓ I also started experiencing intrusive thoughts. I had thoughts of, I hope this is okay to discuss because I just wanted to myself give a trigger warning for anybody that might be in this kind of place where they can't hear these kinds of things. But I started to have ⁓ intrusive thoughts and they were pretty violent. had intrusive thoughts of my baby just like.

Chelsea Myers (07:49)
absolutely.

Aaisha Alvi (08:05)
drowning, being smothered, having her head bashed in and things, very frightening images, thoughts that would pop up into my head. And I didn't know it at the time because they were very frightening and obviously I wasn't doing any research, I was very busy in my mothering type of thing. But they're very common symptoms for about 90 % of parents, both moms and dads. And they're very common in the postpartum period. But you know, that still didn't mean that it

that they were extremely frightening and I was very frightened by those intrusive thoughts. But then very soon after that I started to believe some really strange things. ⁓ Like I started thinking that my family would act on the violent thoughts that were in my head. I didn't think that they were in their head but I thought that for some reason that they would act on the ones in my head which is obviously a very kind of strange belief.

Chelsea Myers (08:49)
Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (08:57)
⁓ I started to suspect that my baby wasn't really a baby and I thought that she was like a grown adult trying to pretend to be a baby, like in a baby's body type of thing. So that was making me like very frustrated at like why she was pretending to be a baby. Like I wasn't processing that, she was a baby. And then I started to think that my husband was going to molest her.

Chelsea Myers (09:19)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (09:24)
which was extremely frightening, like very frightening to the point that, you know, one day I tried to attack him. And I think that that's something that most moms would do if they thought that, you know, their child was at risk, right? Yeah, like to be protective. And ⁓ even though I had these kinds of strange beliefs, ⁓ I wasn't sharing them with anybody else. They were kind of things that I believed myself and ⁓ was like acting in accordance to.

Chelsea Myers (09:37)
Absolutely.

Aaisha Alvi (09:52)
I didn't realize that something was off about me. My family did think that something was off because I was kind of behaving oddly. ⁓ And though my husband took me to the doctor like I think twice or three times, I was never diagnosed. And one day about four months later, I kind of spontaneously woke up in the morning and I was like, wow, like why did I believe all those weird things? And I was just back to my baseline.

Chelsea Myers (10:17)
Ha

Aaisha Alvi (10:20)
And so that was like my first experience with postpartum psychosis. It was very bizarre. ⁓ I was just like, whoa. And ⁓ I kind of was like, I didn't really understand what had happened to me. And because of that, I was like for a bunch of years, even though I wanted more children, I was like terrified of getting pregnant again, because I was like, I didn't know what those four months were about. ⁓ But you know, like I really started enjoying motherhood after I came out of that experience. And so

Chelsea Myers (10:42)
Yeah. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (10:49)
at about, like when my daughter was about like five years old, I wanted to have another baby and you know, memories fade, right? Like we forget all the, how labor felt, we forget everything. So I was like, okay, you I really wanna have another child and I got pregnant again. And then at like close to four months, I miscarried. And then I started feeling really depressed and anxious again.

Chelsea Myers (10:59)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (11:17)
But this time I kind of was like, I recognize, I was like, wait, you know, this is kind of how I felt that first time after I had my daughter. So I recognized that like, wait, I've never before felt like this in my life except for that bizarre time. And so I went in to try to get help and I talked to my doctor, but I was dismissed. I was told that, you I just had a miscarriage. Everything's fine type of thing. And even though I had more insight into my symptoms,

Chelsea Myers (11:39)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (11:45)
And I really did think that something was wrong and I tried to get help. I was dismissed even a second time. And so my symptoms kept escalating and getting worse. And I began to think like even stranger things. Like I started thinking that ⁓ maybe my daughter needed to die so she could go to heaven. And that was like really frightening because I at one level didn't agree with that, but.

the thought was there and was like saying like, yeah, you know, she needs to die so she can go to heaven. And it was really frightening. so, you know, again, I was behaving really bizarrely in response to what was going on with me. And my family continued to take me to doctors and I continued to be dismissed by doctors. And I eventually started hearing voices that were demanding, very, very frightening. were commanding and demanding that I stab my daughter. They were demanding that I

harm other people. And at this point, like I begged the doctors to hospitalize me because I was terrified. I did not want to do any of the things that the voices were telling me to do, any of the things I felt like doing. I didn't want to do them. And so I begged the doctors to hospitalize me and they still sent me home. And eventually it was the sixth doctor that I saw, a perinatal psychiatrist.

Chelsea Myers (13:03)
Mmm.

Aaisha Alvi (13:09)
who diagnosed me with postpartum psychosis and she retrospectively diagnosed me with postpartum psychosis and said that that was what you had the first time after you gave birth. And so like this whole, like I mean, there's a lot of details in it. I go into it in detail in my book about how exactly it all played out, but that's like, you know, the brief, ⁓ I don't know when I was growing up, there were things called the cold notes. Yeah, the cold notes version, very brief. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (13:32)
In a nutshell, yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (13:39)
synopsis of what happened to me and this whole experience and the fact that I was forced to suffer for so long and that I nearly lost my life because I became like acutely suicidal and that you know I nearly lost my child to this illness because of the health care provider ignorance is what what made me become an advocate because that was just like it was so terrifying to me that no matter how much myself and my family was trying to get help from me that

because the health care providers were so ignorant, like they could have classed this our lives, right?

Chelsea Myers (14:14)
Yes, absolutely. And that was so clear and so evident in your book and in hearing you tell your story first. I want to say thank you for your utter vulnerability and your confidence in sharing your story and its details because it is important. It's so important to hear

Especially like you said, like there was this part of me that understood like, don't want to do these things. But right, but you're hearing it. kind of, I've, I've equated it not postpartum psychosis specifically, but like mental health disorders in general, like I have anxiety and OCD. There's the little voice in the back of your head. That's logic. That's saying like, this isn't right, but the louder voice. And for you, it was literal voices.

Aaisha Alvi (14:43)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (15:06)
saying like, no, you need to do this. Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (15:09)
Yeah, and it wasn't

just even like, I think I described it in my book better, but it wasn't just voices. It was like, I literally felt like because I had something called delusion of influence, which is when you actually feel like your body is being pushed toward things. And it was like the most terrifying experience of my life. I would not wish that upon my worst enemies. was like so utterly like, like it.

Chelsea Myers (15:27)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (15:38)
Like for years after that I had PTSD from that. And the reality of the situation is that, like you've read my book Chelsea, like my first experience with postpartum psychosis, you know, people would consider that pretty bad, but my second experience was far, far worse. And the only reason it was far worse, what my psychiatrist explained to me was that the first time I was allowed to be psychotic for four months, right? And it was untreated even though I did

Chelsea Myers (15:52)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (16:08)
Like I was taken to the doctor and I did tell the doctor I wasn't feeling like myself. I was not asked any follow-up questions, nothing like that. And then the second time, my doctor explained it to me in the sense that she said that, you know, ⁓ after being pregnant for four months and then miscarrying, you had those neural pathways kind of set up to that land, okay, we can proverbially call it the land of psychosis. So your mind immediately ran to that place, because those grooves were set in place.

Chelsea Myers (16:38)
Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (16:38)
by that

four months that I was fully psychotic. And then it was like, you know, for two months I was allowed to be psychotic before I got help. And at the point that I got help, my psychosis was so bad that I actually was swallowing close to 18 pills a day to rein in the madness, right? I didn't need to, I wouldn't have needed to have gotten on so many medications and stuff had the doctors known to,

Chelsea Myers (16:57)
Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (17:07)
to treat me early. I mean, I got off of everything and I'm grateful for the fact that those medications existed. But did I need to really experience the trauma and have the symptoms get as severe and as bad as they did? No, I didn't, right? And nobody needs to get that. Like I once asked my psychiatrist, like how much worse could it have gotten? She's like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Like it's a miracle that you didn't harm like, you know, yourself or your child because that was just like,

Chelsea Myers (17:21)
No. No.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (17:37)
you know, just like, like your hair's breath literally from causing harm, right? So, ⁓ so that's why I'm so passionate about spreading awareness because nobody needs to get that bad. Like, had I gotten help, like the first time I was like, I'm, I'm hearing like voices at that time, the voices in my head when I was complaining about them and talking about them to my doctor, they were not even telling me like extremely bad things. They were just like, your husband's going to leave you type of thing. You know what I mean?

Chelsea Myers (18:05)
Yeah,

Aaisha Alvi (18:06)
Like had I gotten

Chelsea Myers (18:06)
yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (18:07)
help, ⁓ I wouldn't have had to deal with the trauma that I did from how bad my symptoms got. And that's what I want to save other women from experiencing.

Chelsea Myers (18:17)
And I think the message ⁓ that is so clear throughout your book, and we'll talk about the book more as well, but like the confusion of like, why is nobody listening to me? Why is nobody listening to me? And the irony of this is, is I have met with multiple ⁓ mental health ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (18:32)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (18:44)
professionals who have also experienced some form of PMAd. And they all talk about how in all of their schooling and in all of their training, PMAds are not talked about. And if they are, it's like a tiny subsection of a chapter and then you're done with it. ⁓ So most doctors and mental health professionals are not equipped to deal with

Aaisha Alvi (18:56)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (19:13)
PMADS in general, but especially postpartum psychosis. ⁓ Yeah, so like, I wish, I don't even know if I should say I wish, like, I hate that the fact that you had to keep pushing and pushing and pushing does not surprise me. ⁓ It should surprise me, but it doesn't. It's also worth noting as well, ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (19:16)
Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (19:39)
you, this was in the Canadian healthcare system. ⁓ Right, and even here in the US, there are only two inpatient perinatal psychiatric facilities in the entire country. I don't know if there are any in Canada. No.

Aaisha Alvi (19:43)
That's right.

Mm-hmm.

No, there are none in Canada. ⁓ But

you know what, like this story of being dismissed over and over again and the healthcare providers unfortunately being ignorant of this condition is something that crosses borders. I'm sure you're familiar with the story of Lindsay Clancy, correct? Yes, she was the Boston, Massachusetts mom who unfortunately had a tragic outcome with her condition.

Chelsea Myers (20:16)
Yes, yep.

Aaisha Alvi (20:24)
And she, her story, like when I heard her story, she'd been to like five providers as well. She actually got herself admitted inpatient, right? And ⁓ then like a week later, the tragedy happens, right? And so like this story, like if you actually read the stories of a lot of those moms who had tragic outcomes, I would say 90 % of them had a story very similar to mine. They kept going into doctors and doctors kept telling them they were fine or they were...

Chelsea Myers (20:28)
Yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (20:53)
had postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. And then the other 10%, unfortunately because ⁓ America doesn't have a universal healthcare system, weren't in a position to seek out care because they didn't have healthcare coverage, which kind of made them hesitant about going in for their symptoms. And honestly, if I was to move my story into the States, ⁓

I could say 100 % it would have ended up in tragedy because with our healthcare system there was nothing except my will precluding me from going to the doctor five, six times. You know what I mean? I didn't have to check whether or not I had coverage to keep going in or anything like that. Had I been transplanted to the States, after that number one dismissal I would have been like, okay, and my family would have been like, okay, we're not, you

Chelsea Myers (21:30)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (21:45)
checking, looking into this anymore. So that's why I'm like, you know, somebody wants to ask me like, wow, like, why do you like, ⁓ you know, help a lot of like work with a lot of organizations in the states? And I'm like, because you guys need it.

Chelsea Myers (21:58)
We love our Canadian neighbors. We

really want you to just adopt us, please.

Aaisha Alvi (22:05)
Yeah, so

it's like it's like really, you know, sad that you know, and a lot and that's what I really like why I wrote this because people always kind of you know, stand around a water cooler. I don't know if there's water coolers anymore, but I mean, um, whatever they stand around there like, you know, their espresso machines like how did that happen? How did that mother do this? And I wanted people to have insight into the fact that you know what? Here's

a real story behind how those tragedies happen. know, like people just continually being dismissed, providers being ignorant about the symptoms and just like, you know, and then that kind of really impacts also the way your family kind of treats you too, right? Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (22:49)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

⁓ So several things, several things sparked in my mind ⁓ when you were talking about it. But one of the biggest things that you advocate for and that you are very clear about in all of the information you're sharing on social media and in your book is like, this is not your fault. And this is not you. And the media hyper focuses

Aaisha Alvi (23:12)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (23:18)
on the tragic outcomes of postpartum psychosis ⁓ without educating, without making access to care better, without they just pick up a story and you hear these moms or birthing people being demonized when really you're experiencing a health emergency ⁓ and it's not you.

Aaisha Alvi (23:21)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and that's why I really wanted to put my book up because I wanted to show them, like I'm sure Chelsea that you saw, like the minute I got on the right dose of medications, like my illness wrapped up in like two weeks. Like, do you know what I mean? Like how fast was that? Like I was forced to suffer for so long. And once I got on the right, once my doctor figured out, hey, like this is what's going on. Here's your right dose of medications. Like, wow, it just like wrapped up so quickly.

Chelsea Myers (24:02)
Yeah!

Aaisha Alvi (24:16)
And that there's no other better proof of the fact that this has nothing to do with who the person is. Like you get on the medication, you get better, right? And yet all these articles and then the comments you'll read in the articles, ugh, that, the comments of people who are like, how dare this woman, I would have adopted this child. Yeah, know, had you made, had you ⁓ helped that mother, she could have done a really good job with her own child, you know?

Chelsea Myers (24:25)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (24:44)
And you know, lot of these news stories leave out all those kinds of things. And the fact that, you know, like, and even though I'm pointing out that in a lot of those stories, those mothers did try to get help, but those are not clear in like, you know, the pieces that you'll read. I'm a bit of, consider myself like a PPP stalker type of thing. And I'm always like reading all the stories and then I piece together everything and I'm like, look at this mother.

Chelsea Myers (24:59)
No.

You

Aaisha Alvi (25:09)
this mother tried to get help five times, that mother tried to get help three times. Do you know what I mean? you know, it's very sad. My biggest thing about this is that this condition is temporary. Nobody has postpartum psychosis for their whole life. It lasts anywhere between two weeks to I think a maximum of 16 weeks. It's temporary, it's treatable. Nobody needs to die from it, right?

Chelsea Myers (25:14)
Yeah.

Yep. Yeah. And that was, that was your push to write your book. Once you had gotten back to baseline. ⁓ Let's shift into that a little bit. Let's shift into the book and the process. At what point did you decide like, I need, I need to make my story known so that this doesn't happen to somebody else.

Aaisha Alvi (25:42)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

so what happened is that probably about three to four months after I got better and I had helped the woman ⁓ in my book, I talk about helping a woman in my book. Yeah, yeah, I talk about helping. So three to four months after I was really like, I was like, you know, like the medical parts of my symptoms had all like kind of receded and gone away.

Chelsea Myers (26:14)
Yeah, I want to talk about that. But yes.

Aaisha Alvi (26:29)
And I was kind of just trying to figure out like what this whole condition was. And I was trying to, you know, read. Because that's what I do. I try to get all the information I can. And I read all these books on postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety. But I couldn't find a single book on postpartum psychosis. And this was back in 2006. So, you know, I just was like always looking. I couldn't find anything. So one day I went in complaining to my psychiatrist and I was like, you know, how come there's no books on this topic? I can't find a single book from somebody that

experienced this condition and we were just talking about it and she was like ⁓ well why don't you write one and she just kind of said it I'm sure she didn't really even think much of it but she just kind of said this she said well you know there's a gap there one and she just write one I was like okay maybe I will and so then I started writing and I wrote it within like three months flat because it wasn't like I had to think very creatively

Chelsea Myers (27:06)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (27:26)
about what would happen next to the character because all the things did happen, right? Yeah, so that was really easy. And I put it down and then I sent it off to publishers. And I had a bit of a problem because a lot of publishers were initially like, wow, this is super violent. And this is not what we think of motherhood. And they asked me to tone it down. And I was like, no, I won't tone it down. And this was back in 2006, 2007, right?

Chelsea Myers (27:31)
Exactly.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (27:56)
I was

like, no, I absolutely refuse to tone it down because I'm not going to sugarcoat what happens. Like at that time there were still, ⁓ infanticides and stuff happening. There was the huge case of Andrea Yates who was sick at the same time that I was sick. Right. And I was like, no, because people always ask how these things happen and I'm explaining and sharing how it happens. So I refused to, ⁓ tone it down and I kind of, ⁓ you know, shelved it.

Chelsea Myers (28:10)
Yup.

Aaisha Alvi (28:25)
for a little while because I was adamant that I wasn't going to change. It's not like I was writing gratuitous violence. It was just my thinking, what was happening, all that kind of stuff, right? And ⁓ so then in the meantime, I saw a lot of other memoirs come out about postpartum psychosis. And I'm super grateful for those other memoirs. But I was still really motivated to publish mine because I noticed

Chelsea Myers (28:38)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (28:53)
And like I told you, I'm a bit of a PPP stalker, so I've read all the memoirs out there, except for one, which I cannot get because it's only available in Australia. So ⁓ yeah, it's gonna cost me like $70 to ship it over here. So it's like that one, I hope to read it, but you know what? Still, I've read enough about it to kind of know that, and from having read all the other memoirs on the topic, none of them,

Chelsea Myers (28:56)
You

⁓

my gosh.

Aaisha Alvi (29:22)
went into ⁓ the homicidal urges and the violent command hallucinations you can hear in this illness. not everybody experiences those kinds of things. I didn't experience that in my first experience of postpartum psychosis. And maybe that's why it didn't happen to those women. I'm grateful that it didn't happen to those women. But there are cases where those kinds of symptomology do exist in postpartum psychosis. And that's what leads to the tragedies.

So I was like, there's still this gap of, you know, like people not knowing how, you know, how this illness causes a mother to take the life of her child or herself. Do you know what I'm saying? So I still felt like there was a place for my memoir to be there. And so I persisted and COVID really helped with that. So during COVID, when I was, you know, locked away in my home, I revisited my memoir and

Chelsea Myers (30:03)
Absolutely.

Ha ha ha.

Aaisha Alvi (30:19)
I took some of the other advice that publishers had given, which was ⁓ that I needed to craft it more like a story. And so I learned kind of by reading other people's memoirs how to write it like as a story. And because the times had changed and there was more awareness of mental health issues, I no longer got the feedback like, whoa, this is too violent, you know? So, you know, all the pieces fell into place. And yeah, so that's how it kind of came to be.

Chelsea Myers (30:41)
Yeah.

Yeah, I think it kind of came, I don't want to say there's ever a perfect time, but I feel like it came about at a time where PPP was being talked about more and in different ways. We're starting to see that shift just a little bit. We need it so much more, but like it's being talked about in less of a demonizing way to a degree because it's still, it definitely still

Aaisha Alvi (31:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Chelsea Myers (31:17)
They like to amp up the scare tactics, but it is becoming something that we are talking about when we talk about PMADS. We're not just talking about postpartum depression anymore. We're talking about postpartum depression, postpartum OCD, anxiety, PTSD, and psychosis. ⁓ Yeah, so I think when your book came out was kind of a great time.

Aaisha Alvi (31:20)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That's right.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (31:45)
especially

for the way that you wrote it. And I will say, like Aisha said at the beginning of this episode, and there will be a content warning in the show notes, but like, when I was talking to you initially about reading the book, I was like, I'm gonna have to, it may take me a while. I saying it may take me a while, because I'm not sure what it's gonna trigger in me.

Aaisha Alvi (32:04)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (32:10)
because I had my own experiences. for me, postpartum psychosis was on the table for a time, and then they shifted it ⁓ to postpartum OCD. But so I was very, very cautious. And what I did is I did, I started reading the book, I read it, and I found it difficult because I was having flashbacks. But when I listened to the audiobook version,

Aaisha Alvi (32:16)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (32:38)
I don't know what it was about it, but it almost like it removed a piece. I don't know how to explain it. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (32:48)
think I can understand

that because you're not seeing the words and hearing the words. Like, you what I mean?

Chelsea Myers (32:52)
Yeah,

yeah, but it was just enough to I listened to it straight for like three days. And seriously, and then finished it that way and was so impacted by it. But I say that to anyone listening like, no, no one, neither of us are sitting here and saying like, go read the book right now you have to read it from cover to cover. I highly suggest anybody does read the book whether you are a parent or not so that you can understand.

Aaisha Alvi (32:57)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (33:21)
Someone,

you're going to know someone in your life who is going to have a child. And this is something that can happen. But there are ways to approach it so that you can protect your own mental health while still ⁓ educating yourself. And I learned so, I learned so much. Like I did, I learned so much. when you say that, like you took the advice of like writing it like a story, it did feel that way. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (33:32)
Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (33:51)
And I did have to remind myself a couple of times, like, no, this happened. Yeah, right? Like this, this happened. This was Aisha. Like this is the person that you talk to. ⁓ So, so yeah, I just, I say that to say that it's incredibly important to educate yourself while also taking care of your own mental health. But it doesn't mean, it doesn't mean...

Aaisha Alvi (33:56)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (34:21)
shutting the door completely. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (34:22)
Yeah, the only people,

the only people I like who, ⁓ who write to me and I advise them not to read it is anybody that's, ⁓ that's still vulnerable from having experienced postpartum psychosis. And then they write to me and they're like, I'm super excited to start your book. And I, and I always say like, have you ever read any other memoirs on postpartum psychosis? And then they'll be like, no, yours will be the first. And I'm like, okay, maybe I don't want to start with mine. Like, do you know what I mean? Like,

Chelsea Myers (34:47)
Hahaha

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (34:51)
Like maybe it's better because some people will say like some of the other memoirs even though they kind of don't go into like those violent kind of things. Like some people will say like, that triggered me. So I always tell them like, take your time with mine. Like even though like it benefits me if people read my book, I do not want to be benefited in any way by your own mental health, you know, sliding. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So I always just say like, take your time.

Chelsea Myers (35:07)
Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Aaisha Alvi (35:20)
You know, it's there, it's out there for when you're ready for it type of thing, right?

Chelsea Myers (35:26)
Yeah, for sure. And you since you mentioned it, I was going to bring it up. ⁓ you talk about in the book. I think it's how you start the book and how you end the book. It's been a little while now I read it back in October. ⁓ But you talk about your mother coming to you about someone that she knew. And she said,

Aaisha Alvi (35:27)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (35:53)
Aisha, she's acting like you. And you immediately went over and helped this person get the help that they needed, but you were still pretty fresh from your own experience. like, desperately, as I was listening to it, I was like, how in the world did you do that? How could you do that? And not

Aaisha Alvi (35:55)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (36:20)
feel triggered.

Aaisha Alvi (36:23)
Yeah, I wanted to point out one thing about that. It's making me kind of laugh because when my publisher, when my acquisition, acquiring publisher, accepted the book, one thing she asked me was that she said, did that experience of you helping that mother really happen or is that fiction? And I was like, no. I said everything in the book happened. And she was like, because that's like unbelievable. I said, isn't it?

Chelsea Myers (36:41)
my god.

you

Yes!

Aaisha Alvi (36:50)
And she actually thought that that part was like made up to draw people in so it always makes me kind of laugh. yeah, it was like such a bizarre thing that ⁓ that coincidentally happened when I was like, like I had just weaned off of my anti-psychotic the week before. So yeah, I was pretty green coming out of postpartum psychosis and then I had this opportunity to help this mom. And the thing is that

Chelsea Myers (37:10)
Yeah!

Aaisha Alvi (37:19)
I think, you know, I know it probably comes off like I helped this mom, but really it was that experience is what helped me because what happened is that the most, I know like when people read my book, they've written reviews and said like this book was terrifying and stuff like that, like terrifying to read because of the stuff that happened to me. Right. And I agree. But

Chelsea Myers (37:29)
Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (37:47)
even more terrifying than experiencing and seeing those things in the voices was the fact that I couldn't get help. That was the most terrifying, like knowing something was wrong, not wanting to do these things, but nobody helping me. being, having that opportunity to help somebody else was so like, it was almost like I was having the opportunity to be helped, right? And also for the longest time, after, like as I was getting better, like,

Chelsea Myers (37:54)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Aaisha Alvi (38:16)
Even though my doctor kept explaining to me that this was an illness, I still kept in my heart, couldn't get away from the fact that maybe it was a testament to the fact that I was an evil person. Because when you have, like I'm sure this probably resonates with a lot of people, it doesn't feel like something's wrong with your heart or your arm or your leg. It just feels like something is wrong with you as a person when you have a mental health condition, right? So I just kept feeling like,

Chelsea Myers (38:29)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (38:45)
maybe this happened to me because I'm innately evil or I don't know it or something like that. And my doctor kept telling me it's an illness, it's an illness. But helping Nadia and witnessing her acting and saying so many of the same things that I was thinking and saying just is what really made me realize like, hey, this is an illness and it afflicts people in the same way. Like that's what astounded my family too.

my husband and my parents were like shocked. They were like, my God, like she's behaving and saying like the same kinds of things that, know, that you were acting and thinking like, it's like, so then you could just viscerally see that this was an illness and a condition. as much as it might seem like I helped her, that experience really helped me. I'm a religious person, so I always like believe like God put that.

⁓ situation out there to like complete my healing. You know what I mean? Yeah, and so it for me like I wasn't worried about being triggered because the thing that would trigger me was her not getting the help that I knew she needed right like that would be the ultimate trigger and that's why like there's an I relay and in my book that at one point my dad was like let's go because you know she was threatening like ⁓ she was saying that like

Chelsea Myers (39:47)
Yeah.

Mmm.

Aaisha Alvi (40:10)
We knew that we were doing something wrong, like just showing up at our house and trying to force her to get help. ⁓ And my dad was like, let's go. Like he was recognizing like, okay, this is wrong. What we're doing type of thing. Or this could blow up in our faces. But I was like, that's what would have really triggered me that if I knew this woman was like homicidal and suicidal and we did not get her and she was not able to get the help that she needed. Right? So yeah.

Chelsea Myers (40:15)
Yeah.

Mm Well, yeah.

And you were I mean, again, without like spoilers, like you were instrumental in navigating the process of her getting to a safe space, ⁓ which which clumsy as it was, and you'll read it in the book. But like, it also demonstrates how

Aaisha Alvi (40:49)
Mm-hmm.

Clumsy as it was.

Chelsea Myers (41:03)
how ill-equipped the entire system is, like from police officers to paramedics to ⁓ ER docs, like you literally were like, no, this is what's happening. Like you need, I know because I lived it. ⁓ Yeah, I just, I mean, the whole book was incredibly impactful, but that specifically, I was like, ⁓ my goodness.

Aaisha Alvi (41:07)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (41:33)
I can't imagine navigating that situation like myself with what I went through and being super, super fresh and hearing about someone else and like, okay, I'm going to go. But to hear you say that, to hear what you said, like that it was very healing for you and validating for you, that makes so much sense.

Aaisha Alvi (41:39)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah,

that's why, yeah, so I'm just like, you know, when people always say, you helped her, I'm like, no, that helped me more than, you know. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (42:00)
Yeah. I mean, you

did, I think you did help her. You did. But like, yes, in a bigger sense, like, it was it was a piece of your journey that you needed. You made you feel validated, it sounds like.

Aaisha Alvi (42:04)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And also I like I'm so grateful like I started the story in that way. I don't know what made me think of starting the story in that way, but I'm glad that it did because after I wrote it, then I kind of felt like, okay, this is also I don't know if it comes off like that, but I felt like this, I wanted to like it not I wanted to but it ended up being that way but like

So people understand why it's important to know about postpartum psychosis because my family knowing about it is why my mom thought to tell me. being aware of postpartum psychosis is what's gonna help you to be able to help others, right? Like it's not like you're just getting knowledge about something that's gonna be completely useless. Like you're finding out like horrific information about something and it's of no use. No, it can come back to be useful and it may even come back to help you save a life.

Chelsea Myers (42:48)
Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. And we've said it a lot on the podcast over the seasons. Like there's this narrative that we don't want to scare new parents. ⁓ And I think, and my logic on the whole thing is be prepared, not scared. And even if it is a little bit scary, like you still have that knowledge as a tool in your toolbox. And, and maybe you never have to use it, but maybe you do.

Aaisha Alvi (43:32)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Chelsea Myers (43:38)
And I'd rather

have, it's like going out with an umbrella. I'd rather have the umbrella if it starts raining ⁓ than not have it. So.

Aaisha Alvi (43:48)
Yes,

for sure. it's like, people say that, like, oh, like, you know, we don't want to scare moms. I think I say it in my book too, like, nobody's going to be scared into developing postpartum psychosis. you know, none of, yeah, like none of my sister-in-laws, just because they heard about my postpartum psychosis experience, went on to be like, oh, when they got pregnant, they developed it. No, that's not going to happen, right? Because there's all this like,

Chelsea Myers (44:03)
Yes, you do say that.

Right.

Aaisha Alvi (44:17)
especially compared to any other postpartum mood and anxiety disorder, know, postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, know, stress, financial situations, things like that can play a role in it. But postpartum psychosis, there's something that they think there's a biological factor that is that, you know, that precipitates type of thing. So hearing about it is not gonna...

you know, turn on that biological switch, that biological switch is there. And that is why it is so important because we don't know who has that biological switch. And even if you do have that biological switch, it's not necessarily like there are people that had it with one pregnancy and not with another, right? So that's why it's so important for people to know about it, right? And I like, I always like in the work that I, awareness work that I do,

Chelsea Myers (45:03)
Yes.

Aaisha Alvi (45:09)
I always educate ⁓ women about the risk of postpartum psychosis and nobody's ever come back to me and said, well, just because you told me about it, I developed it. Do you know what I'm saying? So this kind of thing, like we gotta move away from that kind of illogic, I would call it, because there is no way somebody's gonna develop it from hearing about it. What is gonna happen is that somebody or their loved one might notice symptoms and be like, hey,

Chelsea Myers (45:17)
Yes.

Aaisha Alvi (45:38)
I've heard about this condition and we need to get it checked out because of that. And how is that bad? No, it's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I would say. And I think that for the most part, people are starting to kind of understand that and see the illogic of the, we don't want to frighten women type of situation, right?

Chelsea Myers (45:46)
It's not, it's not bad. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm hoping I'm hoping we're starting to see the shift in that there's, there's still I literally just, I had to you know, those moments where it's like, don't check the comments, just don't do it. Yeah. And I literally, ⁓ yesterday, there was this, there's a creator that I like that was posting about like, you know, the most tired narrative about motherhood is that we all hate it. And we're all exhausted. And I'm so sick of that. And

Aaisha Alvi (46:17)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (46:34)
why can't we talk about how much we love it? And I commented, which I usually don't, but I commented and I said, like, I am so, so happy that this is the experience that you're having. And, and you're so privileged and, and to be able to enjoy motherhood in this way, but ⁓ there are

Aaisha Alvi (46:40)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (46:57)
just as many of us who did not get that experience and there needs to be space for both of us. and of course I had a troll come on and be like, just because somebody writes a post about potatoes doesn't mean we need to tell them why they should like broccoli or Brussels sprouts. I'm like, okay, okay, cool, thanks.

Aaisha Alvi (47:04)
Yeah.

No, but

your comment is important because when people share only one type of narrative all the time and not the others, that's what makes women feel scared of sharing what's happening with them, right? Yeah. And so the broccoli potato person is wrong because that's what makes women feel like hiding things and hiding the little things and bigger things and even bigger things. And then we say, hey, how did that?

Chelsea Myers (47:31)
Yes, that was my point. Yeah. on and

Yes.

Aaisha Alvi (47:48)
tragic circumstance happened.

Chelsea Myers (47:51)
Exactly.

Well, and like, I know I feel confident in saying that you would probably agree with this is like, we, anybody who has experienced anything, from birth trauma to infertility to P mad to anything in between, none of us want that for someone else. And we are genuinely happy when we can see someone getting to fully embrace motherhood and, and

Aaisha Alvi (48:06)
Mm-hmm.

No.

Chelsea Myers (48:20)
live in that joy, like that, because that's what we want for everyone. But we also need to hold space and make it safe for the people who don't have that experience. And that's what your book is doing. And, and I, that's why I love how honest you are in your book as well.

Aaisha Alvi (48:22)
Mm-hmm. That's right.

Yes.

Yeah.

Aw.

Yeah, and that's what like we want that, we wish we had that experience and we want that for everybody. And we want those that are struggling to know that like, you know, we're here to hold your hand and hopefully we can all get to that space that those other people are talking about, you know?

Chelsea Myers (48:55)
Yeah, yeah, that there is an after there's an after and that every experience looks different. And that's cool. Like if you're tired of the narrative that moms are exhausted, I don't know what kind of life you're living, but I'm exhausted. But like, that's cool. You can be tired of that narrative, but it's a narrative and

Aaisha Alvi (48:58)
Yeah!

Thank

But that narrative

is important to so many people. ⁓ That narrative of like, I'm struggling is important, is gonna help some people crawl out of the shells they might be hiding in, right? Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (49:24)
Exactly. Which

yeah, so which is why I appreciate people like you so much. ⁓ Well, I do. Well, thank you. Well, yeah. And I think at the end of the day, yeah, like we said, like, we just want people to feel seen and validated. And especially, especially when it comes to postpartum psychosis, because of all of the PMADS, it

Aaisha Alvi (49:30)
Aww. And I appreciate you, but you are always, you know... doing.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (49:52)
we've changed how we're trying to change the dialogue on it. We're not saying rare anymore. We're saying care, not rare because it isn't as rare. I mean, it's more rare than the other PMADS, but it's not. Yes, right. It's less common than the other PMADS, but it is not.

Aaisha Alvi (49:58)
Mm-hmm.

It's less common, yes.

Chelsea Myers (50:09)
It's not categorically rare. And it can happen. So being validated and being heard and being seen is so so so important. I had just a couple more questions about the book specifically. ⁓ Just because it's out of curiosity, again, like just reading about your experience. How did your family feel about you writing the book? And did it shift anything in your relationships once it was

Aaisha Alvi (50:11)
No.

Yeah. Sure. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (50:38)
out into the world.

Aaisha Alvi (50:40)
Yeah, so initially my family was kind of scared about me writing the book because ⁓ because they kind of Felt like ⁓ man we dropped the ball and in so many other things that we said and and stuff like that and they were Initially thinking that it was gonna be like this tell-all about how they were such nasty people, right? And and and they were kind of you know scared but ⁓ but because for a while I was very ⁓

Chelsea Myers (50:51)
⁓

Gosh.

Aaisha Alvi (51:08)
Initially I was very happy that I came out of postpartum psychosis, but then I got very upset. And for a good ⁓ long while I was ticked off that I could have died and my daughter could have died, could have been institutionalized forever, type of thing. So was mad at my family. So they kind of thought that that's what would be the flavor that would be coming out in the book. And so then they were surprised when it was not really about that.

And it was more about like I had understanding of the fact that, you know, it was ⁓ it's because of like, you know, all this provider ignorance, public ignorance. And that's why a lot of, ⁓ you know, the things that were said to me happened, because my family did realize that something was seriously wrong with me. But then they kept getting confused by the fact that the doctors kept dismissing me. Right. Because the doctors are the ones that are supposed to know if medically something is wrong.

Chelsea Myers (51:36)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (52:06)
So that's what kept confusing them and frustrating them. My husband was so frustrated by the fact that I kept getting dismissed and all this kind of stuff. So I mean, initially I had some resentment toward them, but my psychiatrist helped me realize that. And then helping Nadia really helped me realize that it didn't really have anything to do with them.

it was more like the ignorance around the situation because I saw how everybody in my family stepped up right up. They knew, recognized that Nadia's situation was an emergency. They were there, like they helped, ⁓ you know, take care of her kids and all this kind of stuff. So I saw that this had nothing to do with anything except ignorance about the condition, right? So ⁓ when my family did read my book, they were like, ⁓ like.

Chelsea Myers (52:56)
Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (53:01)
they had a lot more insight into everything that happened to me, but they're also grateful that, you know, I mean, I tell the truth about things that they said and did, but they saw that there was a context and it wasn't just like, ⁓ they were nasty. was, you know what I mean? So, yeah. So, they kind of, you know, like, were like, yes, like they love the fact that, you know, I'm trying to help others from.

Chelsea Myers (53:15)
No, it doesn't come across that way at all.

Aaisha Alvi (53:28)
from suffering and stuff like that. So initially they were kind of like, oh my God, this is like a tell-all that's gonna embarrass us, but no, you know? So they were, and they were like, you know, like really shocked by a lot of the things that were going on in my head. And they're very, they're all like, everybody in my family is like really passionate mental health practitioners themselves.

Chelsea Myers (53:33)
Hahahaha

that's well and yeah and what what was clear from the get go is they did their best with what they were working with. It's just like you said like there was they were confused because the doctors kept dismissing you and like and they did what they thought they should do they you yeah without again read the book read the book read the book but like ⁓ yeah they did the best that they could with the knowledge that they had and now they have more knowledge and and

Aaisha Alvi (54:02)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

And I see how amazing they are with anybody that they're concerned about. They're like, my god, what should we do? OK, can we connect them to you? It's like this whole family of little mental health crusaders.

Chelsea Myers (54:24)
Yeah, so.

I mean, that's not the worst thing. To come out of a situation like that into, I don't know how you couldn't be a mental health advocate after watching a family member go through what you went through.

Aaisha Alvi (54:46)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (54:56)
You touched on it briefly ⁓ before, but what are some of the responses you've received since publishing? love seeing when you post your reviews on Instagram, but what are the ranges of some of the feedback you've gotten from readers?

Aaisha Alvi (55:16)
⁓ Okay, so I would say, let me think. ⁓

⁓ Firstly, to make sure, almost all of the responses I've gotten are unbelievably positive. And they're appreciative, which is really, I have to say, really, really surprising to me because I didn't expect so much positivity. I sincerely went into this project. want to give voice to the women that have experienced this illness and not made it out, have sadly

taken their lives or had tragic outcomes in terms of harming their children, right? So I was fully, like full on ready for the majority of people to conclude that I was evil after reading it, right? I was like, my God, but my bigger goal is for those that want to listen type of thing. I was ready to...

Chelsea Myers (56:01)
Yeah, yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (56:13)
to have people conclude that. And sadly, I have had one or two people that have written to me and said, you are possessed and I think you need to find Jesus, right? But they didn't read the book. When I said, have you read the book? They were like, no, but like, know, I've seen some of your posts and I think, and I'm just like, okay, thank you for your comments. But the vast majority, ⁓ you know, have like been.

Chelsea Myers (56:21)
goodness. You're like, no, I already found him. right. ⁓

Yeah. Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (56:40)
reacted like very positively and are appreciative of the insight. So that was really heartwarming to see. one reaction that I got that was like that really like super touched my heart was this perinatal psychiatrist who I follow and she has pretty big following. She reached out to me and she told me that because of what she learned from my book, she was able to determine a patient that she's been seeing, but who she was like

unsure about, she was able to ⁓ determine that she was experiencing postpartum psychosis and have her admitted because of what she read in my book. that was like, until she reached out to me and she was like, thank you so much for saving a life. And I was like, no, you saved the life. But, know, I'm just glad like my book played like a role in style was like super, like, super, super like bad day. I kind of had like tears rolling down my eyes, you know.

Chelsea Myers (57:16)
Wow.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (57:36)
So that was like,

⁓ know, cause in my head I'm always like, if it can even help one person, then you know, I'm happy. And so, you know, ⁓ hearing that like was like, ⁓ you know, like it helped one person be able to be diagnosed. And that's like, that's like more than I could have, you know, ever hoped for.

Chelsea Myers (57:57)
Yeah, and I'm sure you have helped far more than that. And you just don't know. And like I said, even for me, having the knowledge and ⁓ it has helped me be able to be a better advocate. It has helped me be able to raise awareness. And when I have guests reach out to me, this did not happen. So we've been podcasting for two years now. And for the first

Aaisha Alvi (58:25)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (58:27)
three seasons, I never had anyone reach out to me about postpartum psychosis. And then I started learning more and I started advocating a little bit more. And now Aisha, I've had, ⁓ you are, think the fourth person that I've spoken to who is a survivor of postpartum psychosis and I have more coming up. it makes me, doesn't obviously, I say it makes me happy. What makes me happy is that

They're feeling safe to talk about it.

Aaisha Alvi (58:58)
Yes.

And it should, yeah, it should make you happy because you know these have all been happening, but nobody's felt like coming forward. You know what I mean? So you're giving voice to that. So that's amazing. I'm so proud of you, Chelsea. Thank you so much for being here. Yeah. Thank you so

Chelsea Myers (59:07)
Yeah.

So, ⁓ Aisha. Well,

you play a role in that because I have learned so much from you and from your experience. So I thank you. ⁓ One of the last big questions ⁓ before, and then I'm going to sort of wind us back around, but one of my big want to know questions is your daughter is obviously older now. ⁓ This happened a long time ago.

Aaisha Alvi (59:21)
Nothing. ⁓

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (59:40)
Is this something that you've talked to her about?

Aaisha Alvi (59:43)
yeah, yeah, for sure. you know, she's known that I've been like a ⁓ mental health advocate for a long time. But ⁓ I would say during COVID when I revisited my ⁓ entire book is when I shared the first draft of my book with her so that she could kind of really understand everything that I went through. Cause at that time, like she was like, you know,

getting near to being an adult and I felt like it was the right time for her to understand everything that I'd been through. So she does know about it. She's like a huge supporter of the work that I do and I just know that it's going to help her in life. If she ever chooses to have children and have a family or anything, I'm so glad that she knows that.

that this condition exists and that there's help out there. And she's also part of the mental health crusader in my family.

Chelsea Myers (1:00:46)
Your family,

yes, your family of mental health crusaders. love it. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (1:00:50)
Yeah, yeah, so she's

like, you know, she always like will touch base with me and be like, okay, you know, I think that this person ⁓ is like struggling. What are things like, you know, that, you know, that you would recommend that they look into or whatever. so like, the thing that I'm most happy about is that we have very ⁓ frank conversations around mental health and all that kind of stuff. And I think that

She genuinely has no stigma towards mental health issues and that's thing that I'm most proud and happy about.

Chelsea Myers (1:01:26)
Yeah, I love that. I had a feeling. I had a feeling that you guys had probably talked about it. yeah, again, it just goes back to your resilience and your, I always say there's strength and vulnerability and you live and breathe that. You're like, I'm not gonna hide what happened to me because it might make you feel better or it might make you a little less uncomfortable. ⁓

Aaisha Alvi (1:01:32)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (1:01:55)
Yeah, you're just, you're honest about it.

Aaisha Alvi (1:01:55)
Yeah. Even, yeah, like even from when she was young, like I obviously I'm not going to give her details of things, but like, you know, I tried to explain it in a way that would make sense to like an eight year old or a 10 year old, you know, kind of mind. And then when I felt like she was the right age to receive it, the information, then it was like, you know, she received all of the information. And it's kind of funny because she has memories of going to help.

Chelsea Myers (1:02:09)
Yeah!

Aaisha Alvi (1:02:23)
Nadia, because she was there, right? And she was there at that thing, but obviously she couldn't process exactly what was happening. But it's like, oh, OK, everything came into. So yeah, so and I think that it is super important to have these conversations in a developmentally appropriate manner with our children, because that's what's going to create that kind of

Chelsea Myers (1:02:25)
Yeah, yep.

that's what that was.

Aaisha Alvi (1:02:51)
of ⁓ world that we want to see, which is like where there is no stigma around these kinds of things, where people can just say like, this is what's happening to me and I need help and they don't need to, they don't need to feel shy about it. Like, you know, I'm, I'm super embarrassed of like one thing that I wrote in my book and like how, when my psychiatrist told me that I needed antipsychotics, how I started to cry and said like, well, I mean, I wasn't well in my head when that happened.

Chelsea Myers (1:03:04)
Mm-hmm.

Right,

right.

Aaisha Alvi (1:03:18)
I started

to cry and say, you're hurting my feelings. I don't want a world where anybody feels bad about a diagnosis like that. That's what I would love to see, where somebody can just be like, you don't feel bad when you're like, you don't feel ashamed of telling somebody like, I have diabetes or I have, that's the kind of world that I want, where somebody says, yeah, you know what?

Chelsea Myers (1:03:23)
Yeah, but that-

Right, exactly!

Aaisha Alvi (1:03:48)
this is what I have and you know I'm taking medication for it I'm going to get better. Like that's it's going be, right? And so when we start early hopefully we can create that kind of world for our children.

Chelsea Myers (1:03:53)
Yes!

That's my hope. That's definitely my hope. So to bring us back home, and it really is sort of the overarching theme of everything that we've talked about, but to kind of narrow it in a little bit. What do you hope? So from the people reading your books, from mothers, from parents, from healthcare providers, from people who are supporting ⁓ new parents, what do you hope that they take away?

Aaisha Alvi (1:04:00)
Yeah.

⁓

Chelsea Myers (1:04:27)
after reading your book.

Aaisha Alvi (1:04:32)
I hope that my book, A Mom Like That, like it really humanizes those moms that have had those tragic outcomes to their postpartum psychosis. ⁓

I really just want people to see those that have struggled with postpartum psychosis and understand that they're just like themselves in every other way except that they've been unfortunate enough to have been afflicted with this terrifying condition. I want them to understand that we're just like everybody else, right? Except that we had this horrifying condition and I think that I really want, really, really want people to know

Chelsea Myers (1:04:52)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Aaisha Alvi (1:05:12)
that even though this is a terrifying, horrifying condition, it's highly treatable and nobody needs to suffer because of shame or stigma and nobody needs to die from a condition that is so easily treatable.

Chelsea Myers (1:05:28)
Yeah.

You do a beautiful job of communicating that through your story. You do an amazing job through your advocacy work and through social media. ⁓ You do. And I'm going to direct listeners again. Please check the show notes so that you can find links to the book and to Aisha's...

Aaisha Alvi (1:05:39)
thank you.

Chelsea Myers (1:05:52)
all of her social media and everything. ⁓ But yeah, just, sincerely, yes, go ahead, go ahead.

Aaisha Alvi (1:05:56)
Can I just? Yeah,

and you know anybody that's like kind of like hesitant to kind of ⁓ you know purchase the book or anything like that you can read the forward and the first five chapters of my book for free using the preview link in my bio in my Instagram. So you don't feel like and I feel and I and I and I put that there because even if nobody wants to read the full book I feel like by reading the first three to five chapters.

I think you'll still get enough information about this condition to help people. And so for me, it's not about making money off my book. All I care about is spreading awareness. So if all you want to do is read those first five chapters and learn about post-partum psychosis, do that because I just want you to save a life either by listening to a woman that's suffering or helping her get to the hospital so that she can get the help she needs.

Chelsea Myers (1:06:52)
That is such an incredibly generous ⁓ tool that you are offering people. I'm going to go ahead and say, buy the book. ⁓ It's worth it. yeah, just, again, I thank you for your advocacy. I thank you for helping empower me to learn more and to be a better advocate. And I'm just, I'm thankful that you exist and that you

you got through this and that you're proof that people can get through this.

Aaisha Alvi (1:07:24)
Thank you so much Chelsea and I really appreciate all the work you do to spread awareness about all the different ⁓ perinatal postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. It's just so important and I don't know you must have like a you should get little tattoos for all the lives that you probably save with these. You look like a gangster.

Chelsea Myers (1:07:43)
my gosh.

No, I have no I have imposter syndrome like massively so I don't know but but yeah I just I think everyone who who listens or who shares their stories and yeah and you're you're a part of you're a part of this community so I appreciate it.

Aaisha Alvi (1:08:05)
Thank you so much, Chelsea.

Chelsea Myers (1:08:08)
Aisha, thank you again for your honesty, your strength, and for being such a powerful voice in this space. Your story is saving lives, and I'm so honored to share it with our listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, please know that help is out there. You are not alone. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency, but there is help and treatment is available. You can find links to Aisha's book, A Mom Like That.

her free preview, and her social media in the show notes. You can keep up with us on Quiet Connection by following us on Facebook, Instagram, Red Note, YouTube, and Threads at Quiet Connection Podcast. You can also find us on Blue Sky at Quiet Connection Pod. You can help our community grow by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and consider sharing our episodes on social media.

Be sure to check out our Patreon or Buy Me a Coffee accounts to support our mission and get exclusive access to bonus content and other goodies. To share your journey, can contact us through our website at quietconnectionpodcast.com or by email at quietconnectionppmh at gmail.com. Join us next time when another story is told and you realize you are not alone. I see you.